ThePracticalitiesOfFoodDistribution2012
Introduction/Definition/etc
It was going to be the Politics of Hunger
or something else for a catchy title,
but practicalities won out in the end...
People have problems feeding themselves,
myself included, and when the budget gets
tight, they used to you it was easiest to ask for
food, but in practicality, it's not all that easy,
as with any system, it involves paperwork,
which they did, and waiting which I ended
up doing, a lot, both a week for the day to
come around but less than the paperwork
and waiting a month for other systems of
assistance...
Body
Food Stamps people may have heard of,
or experienced, it's shaming to pay with
food stamps at the register, usually a
RetailDiscrimination2012
and snickering type transaction, if
it goes through, we don't take those
things here, why do you exist,
what is your problem, type shaming
and humiliations you might think
"the poor" get used to, but never really
do...
I'd done food stamps now called SNAP
in the past, but over the years/ decade(s)
the system has updated a little, in practicalities,
not really in reality, instead of paper money
like coupons you take to a restricted list of
vendors (read stores) who might or might
not accept them (thinking McLean doesn't
and the Barrio and low rent/ points of blight,
where poor are supposed to live
(see ArlBAC20120507 and just about any
of the other rants up here about segregation,
discrimination, humiliation and social
controls/ er, snobbishness to outright
verbal or other nastiness...)
Anyways, the day of distribution came
around, finally, I was busy trying to have
a life worth living, and the recent storms,
power outages and now heat wave again,
makes one alternatingly hungry, not hungry,
and disgusted, but the cubbards are getting
bare, and once a week, maybe more if you
get on the right program/ list?
Arrive early, is the suggestion, this time
inside, as the heat and you could wait
indoors, having to pass the apartment
manglement and reception (what do you want?
what are you doing here? attitude
overhearing talk of pesticides/
you have to spray bed bugs directly
and lice and other appetizing sounding
reminders that the management had outright
threatened to poison me, police didn't hear it,
do anything (let's assume he's crazy)
and then all those other power differences,
employed behind a desk, but not really
caring, some might, others are nasty,
I guess it takes it's toll, all those demands,
phones ringing, language and cultural barriers,
denying any vacancies, but making others,
pick and choose who you tell what to,
who you help and who you let fall through
the cracks, it must be tough being a
warden in the asylum...
I'm thinking that we get to go to the
grocery store, like regular people,
or that there are bags, grocery
bags, but this is bring your own,
and I didn't get the memo,
my neighbors, in some English
lots of loud Spanish, some of which
I'm starting to pick up despite my
lack of formal training, French and
crepe's high brow language,
and culture, (don't read about the
French and abuses/ killing of MH
people, it will look like death camps,
fair warning...)
So having been homeless, and worked
in a seasonal shelter one season after
graduating college, finally on the 17+
year plan, people donate food thinking
they are helping others, and many times
actually are, I Guess, but the distribution,
the free/ paid vs enslaved labors,
money, time and policy and procedures,
even in a beaurocracy (still can't spell that
crap, so rename it anyways) are
lacking, IMO.
Waiting 30 minutes plus, take a number,
who to get them from, not sure who is
staff/ looks like a neighbor handing out
numbers, take a number, but not on the
deli counter, but a person handing a
well worn number laminated ticket
reuseable, like the bags, they eventually
showed I would need, in the read the
'culture, hear the bags, see what the others,
are doing, and ah, ha, finally dawns on
me it's a retread type situation,
someone provides food, you bring
bags, so have to go get them,
and come back, dawning upon me
about the time, a truck shows up,
big guy stands over me saying someone
new was supposed to be here,
"wasn't me" I reply, not picking up
upon the cues, social cues are not
at the top of any Autistic's best qualities,
have to plunk us over the head/
read be explicit, about what things
are expected, and ask how it works,
but there is the formal procedure,
nothing written down here,
have to read between the lines,
of the social situation, older people
waiting when I got there, other
kids/ baby almost but older
laying on the floor, that was
the most comfortable/ best
seat in the house, I said,
getting a laugh even amongst
multilingual/ multi cultural audience/
crowd/ gangs...
People with kids, probably have
other commitments mid afternoon,
to get in line is the activity of the day,
teens getting take a number tickets,
not sure who is authorized to represent/
be head of household, the implication
is get there early, go run around outside
and play and come back when ready,
the standard hurry up and wait,
and the culture is holding court
while waiting, who is in charge?
the older black woman standing
over me, being typically bossy,
but turns out to be a resident/
volunteer, volunteers go first in
line, but not after arguing nastily
with staff the barriers of culture
seem to be hitting the high point
in the heat, staff, arriving late,
bringing expensive outside foods
in, a bottle of some drink, all the
others don't have, have to show
that stick/ club/ status symbol,
the teen kids their cell phones,
masking the shame of being,
possibly needing assistance,
but the late night ramblings/
rants ofa hungry person,
you see it goes down to
Small or Large ticket
once waited and name
given amongst the waiting
crowd of onlookers, like a clinic
have to say it out loud in crowded
waiting room, no privacy here,
you are not on the list,
well, write it here, have to add it
there, we will see, you helped?
were here before the staff showed
up, something about a dog,
which we can't have here,
the inmates are different in the
asylym, how ever you spell it,
got to show you don't need it,
while eating you inside that you do,
and part of why I'm up in the middle
of the night, also indigestion,
the one thing of hot dogs,
or chicken (how do you cook
chicken, he wonders, as a single
guy, bachelor, "you need you a wife"
the older black woman, who I had
pinched her fingers not taking a
milk crate of cans correctly from her,
but her not saying how to change it,
do something different, but what?
why is she screaming at me?
what did I do?
Fake pain or exaggerated?
I am not sure, to this day...
And you are? I should have said,
I don't try talking down an angry
black woman, anyone who's seen
Madia (sp?) Tyler Perry should know
better...
So one (neo or something spelled
and put on the layed out tables
all over the community room/
library/ office in a closet, locked,
showing nice Apple notebook,
others probably don't have,
thinking and saying jokes
of most offices are literally a closet...
Beats a cube farm...
Nothing snappy and funny
here too tired, one can of
fruit, pears in this case,
if you get one of these,
you cna't have one of those,
I pass on the sweets, most
gone by the time number 10
comes around, staff's already gotten
a box, everyone waiting watching
what is being taken, that's hte checks
and balances, you can't have that,
we all see it, but look away when
the kids, gang wannabe's or actual
gang members, no shirts, many
together, come for a number,
then turn it back in, we will be OK,
wondering what is going on outside,
having to get home safely, even the block...
Maintenance helping the elderly,
nice touch, wonder what it's like
getting old(er) around here, hope
not to find out...
Young hispanic presumably paid
Staff telling older black woman
not to pickup the green beans
being repackaged on site, into smaller
bags for individual use,
don't pick them up off the floor,
but they came fro mthe ground,
the bag was in the ground when
it got here, we ate from the ground
at my age, I'm still alive,
and I can't even remember the whole
interchange, you see I'm getting senile
weak from hunger, there isn't much,
and I didn't go back after trying to get
the cold stuff in the heat back in refrigeration,
two trips of the van, first perishables/
fruits and vegetables, there isn't much,
there is a problem today, we will be short,
I'm helping carry stuff, "if you need help"
I ask, he probably thinks he can't ask,
wonder what the policy is there,
can't force labor, but he looks healthy,
tanned at least, but clumsy, the narrow
side and small doors two can't pass,
kitchennette, pass through from waiting
area to real waiting area in the back,
guys limping, me carrying too much,
try double, need a dolly, but that
is an extra, for larger loads,
shut up and get it done,
we are laborers conscripts
in the grand scheme of things
fast food workers should know you
have to have had food safety training,
but I'm thinking that would be the
"training" you would have to have
to become a "volunteer" officially,
you see I was no one, the only
white guy, middle aged or over,
pushing fifty, amongst all the
other colors, present, why is he
here? is he a volunteer?
old black woman showing up
as I was making notes to myself,
you see a shopping list type thing
actually an assistive type thing,
no privacy here, she is bossy and
in charge, but not really know who
is what? Fresh Meat, thinking of
any of the prison movies,
pick who to hit first, take the biggest
meanest one and hit them,
that is how you survive prison,
I guess, don't want to find out...
Threats, intimidation, gang type
kid round back, keep an eye on him,
laughing and hooping on a cell phone,
predatory people abound,
from paid staff, to the jackells/
laughing hyienas (sp?)
of the desert at the watering
hole...
Dropping green beans and picking
them up, is the least of our problems,
was the place sprayed? was the baby
changed on the carpet, was the
diaper fresh?
Working in a lab and any medical
help, you know it's the bacteria,
Staff is Staph (infection),
"we touch your food",
thinking Hispanic / Latino
comedy even performing
at the White House to Obama
and family, wonder how that is
going, rumors of security details
absent around the president,
srumising they are short, after
all the Secret Service scandal,
and now all the candidates need
details too, the circus is coming
ti's 2012 election year
Next?
Conclusion
Summary of experience or similar
Overweight people, unhealthy foods,
can't take your time can't be picky
it's first come first served, wait in line,
best gets picked clean, I leave the
pies, and some sweets for others,
take it anyway, isn't that good enough,
the teen attitude, staff says to teens/
girls, snap to attention, wondering
how mean girls are to each other
especially about this type of stuff,
Mean Girls the movie probably,
it's on the network already,
Eggs, no substitutes, whole milk,
no skim, preservatives, MSG in the soup,
hydrogenated oils all over,
the comfort foods necessary when
real nutrition, those glossy flyers
selling healthy, but by the time it
gets down to the conference room
table, nothing looks fresh,
except the fresh meat,
the new white guy, the other
white meat, pig, but oh well,
just another idiot in the hood,
Welcome to DC, er VA suburb/
really urban...
Kennedy Center Fusion
FusionImprobableattheKennedyCenter
it's not...
Discussion
A place for feedback on the page presented
Have you ever been hungry?
Found your money short at the end of the month,
or even first of second week, mid month?
Made the choices to do one thing,
thinking I'm going to starve, which causes
you to want to eat more?
But nothing looks good?
Healthy or even safe?
Wonder if those "volunteers":/
inmates washed their hands,
dropped your food, picked it up,
wonder what the snickering was
as they tried "helping" you?
It's a heat wave and attitudes flare,
at least the A/C is working, power
is one, and well, we are going to starve,
portion sizes are not SuperSizeMe
the mice/ rats and bugs are part
of the full experience of living in the
projects, and they are not the real
pests, it's the gangs...
And they cancelled the emergency
preparedness training, pre Storm,
because of the storm, smart,
leave the people helpless,
instead of thinking ahead,
it's a staffing issue,
like most things...
How does one actually cook
hot dogs? Were condiments
included? Breads, no rolls,
nothing like fast food,
bags included, wonder if the bugs
got in the bags, a dead bug
fell on the fridge, after having to
stay around late last time,
send someone to his place
just break in, look around,
the wardens and guards
are playing it mean again...
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