UPay2011

 

Introduction/Definition/etc Body Conclusion Discussion Page History Page Statistics Page Views:  since creating on 20110227

 

Introduction/Definition/etc

 

Adventures in moving <sarcasm>...

Long rant, some about moving companies, rental place,

and going off into tangents of history and scooters,

gas, running out of it, and well that's the metaphor

for now, out of gas, and asked for help...

 

20110227 10.32 am Jerry

 

Body

 

So plan ahead and reserve a truck online, the system doesn't show how to

add the time very well, length of reservation escapes me, and the 6 hour recommended,

is only a fraction of what it will take to move myself...

 

And another page asks for supplies, and at $3- $7.50 or more for a hanging short

dresser box, it adds up very quickly.

 

$1..50 / mile doesn't sound like a lot for 30 miles,

but come back and it says 60 miles, which is $75 on top of

the mirage of low $29 / day rental rate, which add $15 in insurance,

per day, and buy gas to fill it (very large tank, not sure how 60 miles

didn't move the meter, 30 miles wouldn't, and they say the  meters

are correct (Sound like DC Taxi Cabs?)  Requires an audit!

 

Packing is beyond me, need to do some packing, get out of dust,

and some fresh air, take a break, and do it in little parts,

housing, in general, which has occupied my life for most of the last year,

since my father's death, coming back from Autreat, sick, and

have so much paperwork and running around to do,

remember Hoarding?  Well, it's not like the TV shows,

the most dramatic shows are Food hoarding and Animal

hoarding, I'm just the run of the mill, have to keep every peice

of paper, as I don't remember crap, don't have it digitized,

and yes, the disk drives are full, can't discard the old machines,

as they have data on them, and with Depression, major and recurrent

again by now, don't have the energy to do much but collapse when I get

back from very long commutes, either by bike or bus/rail, MetroAccess

stranded me one time too many day after being hit by a car on my bike,

sore, extremely tired, with bruising of colors I'd never seen before,

10+ calls from Ambulance Chasers, and well, maybe you've read the story

here?  Or heard the litany in person...

 

 

OK, so next challenge, not that losing a parent is minor, is moving

housing and the run around, I'm pretty sure people want me dead,

as stress on one alone is through the roof, and combined with that

and accident, and how do they expect me to survive?

Probably don't.  Punishment for trying to help?

No thanks for advocated that lead to $1.51 million/ year and others

got the jobs/ money/ drop in centers,  I got the crap/ problems...

 

Anyway, Project Based Section 8 housing, you move  where they

say, with Section 8 Voucher you have to find a place, when most don't

want Vouchers, do the search and run around ,likely without a car,

transportation or money, and try to survive, like Amazing Race,

time clock varies, 60 to 120 days, have to prove effort to extend,

if they even let you, and in the heat, or cold/ rain, whatever,

you're responsibility, sign lots of paper that make no sense,

lawyers have difficulty understanding it, and you are forced to sign.

 

Consolation prize, move all your shit, pay through the nose,

market rate security deposit, application fee, stuck in the one choice,

as can't shop around with vouchers, so when the details get bad,

tough luck, an abusive system to be sure.  Demands and nastiness,

and that was not the dream one had been waiting for,

wanted a larger place, a house, not apartment, but you don't know

the size is limited, number of bedrooms (based on family size),

really need a den, for the home office, all that research, now risking being lost

due to a quick move, holidays, sickness, snow storms and everything

not to mention just the disability and trying to survive,

waiting on legal advice that is not helpful,

and then U Haul...

 

Momento, the movie, [ http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0209144/

or better yet, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Memento_%28film%29 ]

shows a guy who forgets everything overnight, [writes on or ]

tattoo's himself every night and tries to figure out what

is going on by the tattoos, is a little like a drunk,

waking up with blackouts, I guess,

but trying to piece together my life from my

artifacts/ stuff, and without it who am I?

 

The things from late relatives, now totaling over 8

in the last few decades, was extended family (with age differences)

until Dad...

 

Associative memory, remembering by objects, can tell a story

from most stuff, maybe engineers relate to objects better than people,

Aspies maybe even more as the human channel is fuzzy,

might as well listen to the clear channel, physical world,

and well, U Forget?  U Remember?  U need some rest,

a vacation, like the way I became disabled in the first place,

thought I needed a vacation, but a Hospital is not a vacation,

[ clinical training in one taught me that I would not want that for myself,

much less others, so ]

avoided that,  and I wasn't an enemy of the provider system

at the time (yes, this is sounding paranoid, but doesn't mean

they are not out to get you...)  YOU ARE like that one in Texas

or down Deep South that injured the Congress Person?

 

Nope, I am a shut-in, different animal entirely,

tiger vs. bear.  One attacks, another just hibernates.

 

Cause Mayhem?  Nope, takes too much work,

while not Lazy, as some might surmise, if you have

the weight and concerns that I do (not really poor me,

or ego inflated here), would you want to get out of bed?

Or have a bad attitude?

 

Luckily, after thinking I had no friends, and I know a lot

of people, but not that way, most I don't want knowing where

I live, I like my anonymity, and God help you if you destroy it,

I could not find people to help, I ended up paying some,

(yes I paid some friends and aquaintances to help,

as it's a hassle, and might as well make it bearable)

as the pains shooting through my leg, after a fall off the truck,

exhausted, like the Marathon runner at The Wall,

it's an endurance event, and call 'the bus', as this

one will likely need to be carried off the field of play,

stairs, are my downfall, most would point to all the stuff,

call it trash, ridicule me, and that is people who should be helping

and the R Word, sickly by those who claim it should be Respect,

cut me off when left hanging by their stuff not working,

my stuff is trash, and laugh that I'm losing it?

 

Well, some of it was antiques, from relatives long gone,

not forgotten, but rememberances (sp?) of times past,

all I've got left, little future, a few toys,

way too many ideas, and little to no energy to make

them happen, but people want slave labor,

not consulting ideas, while photos taken and used,

ideas of getting bikes from Impound (I'd lost a bike,

my first mountain bike, a nice red one, all the red ones

get stolen, jealousy, I guess, and it helps to lock it,

just running in for a minute, at a bus stop library,

don't expect it to be there when you get back)

when in the Shelter, and went looking for it,

how I knew about the bike impound lot...)

 

Anyway, bikes can carry a little bit,

and over 7+ years, 15 or more total now,

I've pulled in lots, all the conferences,

the people giving me stuff, poor, so give him

the extras, even family offloading stuff, and

it adds up, to more 17' trucks, partially filled,

it took at least 2 trips to move to the last place,

more than 2 people moved out of area, one out of country,

giving me (I bought some stuff to help friend who helped me),

and well, luckily a new neighbor was paid a little to help get

stuff up, too many floors, too many stairs and pains through

my body, the endorphins would be good, not biking a lot,

but can't move and if I'd tried some of the racks/ big boxes

with books, instead of breaking it down to smaller boxes,

would likely be in traction, some old neighbors helped

with tables and big stuff, bless his soul, and thank yous

to be done, but still a lot remains, trying to pick through

the best of it, can't lose those things, so much else

not going to be done.  A marathon is done in one day,

a long grueling day, like a Century Ride (105 miles English

= a Full Century) did one as a much younger person,

fighting my brakes Seagull Century, IIRC out on the Eastern

Shore, old Peugot, back wheel went out of true at the start,

fighting brakes for 105 miles, not so fun...

But bragging rights...

 

This one, people don't seem to understand,

the rental place, saying have fun, like moving is fun,

MOVE is a 4 letter word, like HELL, if you believe in it,

I'm so positional, need to have things where I know where they are,

not scrambled, almost OCD about the order of things,

good for technical stuff, bad for being around people,

others touch doorknobs, and that cleaning one,

I don't have that gene, or trait, or whatever label,

but have the lack of that one. and worried about others

seeing how I live.  Think teenager's messy room, but

compounded by decades of years older, and a resentment

for being the wife, to my Dad, Courtship of Eddies' Father

like, Parentified Child, and I had to distance myself from him,

this time of year last, his birthday around then, but when he is bad,

and I was days without sleep, and not there when he died,

I'd had to go out, get away, run away, like the running away

as a kid on the bike, get freedom, or stim on motion,

two wheeled the best, my sanity, and some exercise,

a moped/ scooter used until the gas ran out, I guess I didn't

pay attention to that part, someone syphon's off gas from their

tank, helping me from their garage, I giggled, not really appropriate

as they had helped me, got some gas in their mouth doing so,

but the irony, and thanks, I remember about where you were,

and you helped a passing stranger, now 35+ years later,

might be in a home by now, as adult at the time I was a kid,

and well, like lots of us memories are all we have left,

except for the stuff...

 

Not a burden I want to leave on others, but can't seem to part with it,

don't want that "treatment" anger until you cry / break down

stuff that they show on TV, Peter Walsh, on OWN and others

on Discovery or A&E, neither Art Nor Entertainment, along with

Intervention and we have a clinical freaks / side show going on here,

available at a premium, no wonder people's views are skewed,

we're all like those shows, that magically it all works out,

almost Hollywood style, fade to a clean place, tour it,

and how the hell did that happen? 

 

Choice editing?  And I thought those were reality shows?

Non fiction, drama, not fantasy...

 

Well, Jerry, get your act together, quit whining,

and get moving, even though you've imported dust

from the old place, done almost only moving for the

last week, nay months now of trying to get going,

depleting resources to make it happen, and well,

getting down to the wire, the finish line, not ready,

but face the music, and get some help, friends,

true friends showing up, others not called who offered,

can't deal with some stuff, one reason or another,

and there is more than word salad here...

 

Might even make some sense to others,

those distant and non existent readers,

night, night.  Wake up, and it all happens

all over again...

 

Remember?

 

 

Conclusion

 

Summary of experience or similar

 

Discussion

 

A place for feedback on the page presented

 

Page History

 

20110315 Jerry

• editing a little, limit -> limited,
• adding links to Momento movie
• and well, this is a wiki, so the changelog/ revisions are available,
• if you look around on site...

 

 

20110227 Jerry

• Jerry created this page to ...

 

Page Statistics

Page Views:  since creating on 20110227