20220514Share.v2.HP.txt

20220514Share.HP.txt

So not sure what the topic is,
maybe this is still a need to talk,
burning desire, idk

Easiest would be to go to
trying to control the group
i usually dip into other things after getting started
and ears turn off at reading since been in the rooms
on and off, different programs: CoDA, ACA,
basically the side door into AlAnon
after a likely womens' only meeting at Unity Club
back 1993ish? and didn't go back until found
Adult Child specialty meetings...

We had workshops of many different programs
before workbooks were really available
for all the steps in AlaNon
later Reaching for Personal Freedom (green)
came out and spent literally years on it with a group,
adding BluePrints for step 4 which was another
year and the meeting turned into three of us,
no homework required, show up and work on the steps,
voted into Group Rep, the small group paid for me
to go to assembly but couldn't make it,
bed bugs, and other problems, transit,
rain, energy level, etc...

So came in on the doing service/
semi professional student looking for credit hours
in practicum, so anything that made an hour,
and trying for 120 in a term, but had to be service,
so leading, reading, spreadsheets, contact lists,
we care, literature, etc...

And wrote up an early meeting, my experience on it,
had done a practicum at a private psych hospital
and didn't like being locked in,

ironically became homeless, went during shelter time
and getting back to that, maybe,
conflicting reports, some say i'm extended,
leased up, others would have to leave in a
couple days, so not sure, and likely lied to a lot too...

Previously i'd gone through my 401K
was suicidal with all the losses,
family, instant family, etc...

But now i'm older, like a lot of others,
and recovery isn't the pink cloud it once was,
it's staying power?
going to this anyways, despite might lose more
stuff, like last week, got a call from a hotel,
come get my stuff, or will be put to the curb,
and the hotel didn't extend,
SNiT/SNoT didn't extend, and so had to get all
my kitchen, semi portable out of there,
5 boxes food, 3 cases soda, 6 gallons water,
and gave to the local homeless guy
sleeping/ out on the bus stop,
and took the implements
of kitchen distruction, dishes, etc,
and went to crash/ camp at the old place,
past my welcome, and lease not renewing,
according to an interim community manager
who may be gone, but can't believe a lot
of what i'm told, paper doesn't lie as much,
but even my little court thing years ago,
didn't stay, a change, and non suit,
like dismissed, but held against me,
can be used again, and i took my
now late mother with me,
i wasn't talking to family last time,
but what have i done wrong?
why am i being punished?
is it adult child stuff?
that i'm the maid, and didn't want to be
so resist cleaning,
on to maybe clutter to hoarding?


But i digress, not people pleasing,
and may publish my own drivel,
share up on site...

thanks for letting me ramble,
needed to talk/ write,
but not sure what to say...