20220530BraggingRights.HP.txt

20220539BraggingRights.HP.txt

So Memorial Day (observed) MonDay,
Pools open and the start of summer,
sales and commericalization,
much like other HoliDays,
Holey Days,
but somehow different,
the 1% solution(s)


So it's for bragging rights,
that not everyone has,
oddly across the boundary of things,
nationalism and pride
both dangerous, pride being one of the 7?
deadly sins, in religion(s),
and Nationalism goes to Nazi Germany
escalating to World War(s),
and concentration camps
extermination of humans and other
Crimes Against Humanity
(not the fairly sick card game)
and War Crimes, an oxymoron,
there are no rules in Love and War,
War of the Roses (movie) and gender,
goes back to something deeper

So someone's got to pontificate about
a spcial event(s) day, why not Me2?
Dispicable (sp?) Me,
so what bragging rights?
Am i a veteran,
not on the usual sense,
as didn't do basic,
but had some experience with .mil,
if you have clearance, or have had,
you may know something that makes you
even more of a target,
and not to say anything about it,
nor write, i'd imagine, but getting
legalistic, and some other military term
like hedginy your bets,

OnLine people can/ are what they want to be
many times,


Recent events need mention,
at least for me,
political views, and haters,
Shootings at Robb in U*, Texas
another town put on the map,
like who knew of SandyHook,
or Columbine, or closer to home
BlacksBurg, VATech,
besides some who live in that statae,
these towns get national and international
attention, some good, some bad,
mostly bad as a violence happened,
and some response, which basically
didn't seem correct,
in hind sight, and afterthought(s),

at some level it makes sense,
and trying to get into the mind of a killer,
is a dangerous place to be,
the shame guilt, prejudice
especially of dead people,
as they can't defend themselves,
but from what i gather,
a big but, (butt?)

about that time i wasn't doing much media,
hadn't seen the news, my TV(s) are packed
and data plan usage tells me not to check
down to check email, and some GoogleNews Briefts
or someone elses reports on things,
and i might hear about it,
basically a black out zone,
media free,
though ads collect,

I'd have to look up where San Antonio
nearest big city is,

but people got nasty,
in the lobby and attacked,
for what?
someone else was attacked,
so another violence begets violence,
presumably students, and a gang?/squad/
gaggle of girl(s) and i'm easy white meat
target(s), across race/ gender,
boundaries,
and said something in return,
teens, and better hurry the boys
are coming,
which slow moving and a surrounded
girl walked somewhere, for debriefing/
captured by a parent, a girl who
was kidnapped?
why didn't you protect me?
i'm family?
but i can't see against the bright background,
and wearing a safety vest,
so therefore must be an authority,
some comments at the time,
teens find a way of blaming
and the blame game,
see something, say something,
or in my case write about it later,
as words won't suffice for what i go through,
poor me,
little/ well big,
but old, white, and disabled,
some (white) priviledge (sp?) in there
ageism, and basically a big white target,
for a mostly not white demographic,
espcially from kids, which are not under control here,
at all, like wilding isn't that uncommon,
in various forms,
pre BikeRodeo
taking a scooter, had excess,
and bike locker being emptied,
as power washing,
and need to do something about the door,
basically broken since opened,
and now been years later,


like this HP laptop,
lucky since it's still working,
somewhat, doesn't do a lot,
but has a keyboard,
time for a backup,
another device,


but money is tight,
even more paying for $1k storage,
and uncertain future,
can't say is a big thing

used to be media,
if i tell you i'd have to kill you,
the reality is a little different,
i'd imagine, i wouldn't be the killer,
not directly, that may be what media calls
wet work, people who get blood on their hands,
though probably less and less with drones
used for fighting, take the human out of the equation,
and just play video games, like a million dollar
predator, an original name for a (.mil) Drone,
seen in fairly recent conflicts,
but unseen a lot of the other time(s)
used to be stealthy stuff, a BlackHawk helicopter,
SR51? spy plane and Powers shot/ down in Russia
captured spying in Russia former USSR?
Solviet Republic,
something before Putin,
and Ukraine, which is losing out on the press,
flags still fly for the people of Ukraine,
blue and yellow? on a bridge over pass,

I did an ~40 mile ride instead of 50
to a full day, but couldn't didn't do the rest,
to volunteer in a short staffed holiday weekend,
others have lives and i don't, so why not?
i used to when it counted more that i showed up,
you see a SoutBack goes out about who was there,
and i was there, but not listed,
maybe because i started late?
i did sign up,
which is counter to my drop in type existance,
and advocacy, i don't know ahead of time
 how i'll be feeling,
 whether i will have sleps or up in the night,
 most of the night, or down too early and up
 PreeDawn/ 0Dark30 or so,
 and rise to the sun rise?

Like today, had to say something,
but can't really say,
for many reasons,

Shootings in Texas,
10 year old kids and some teachers,
a teen who was putting on FaceBook
or posting somewhere to an underaged teen
in Germany about what he was doing,
posing with guns,
for a gir's attention?
or bragging about going to kill people?
a background of stuttering,
not unlike our current president Biden,
a lawyer who overcame some of it,
but not all,
Obama was a good front man,
of sorts bery eloquent,
Harvard Lawyer
first black US president,
and his side kick?
Senator from where?
Pennsylvania?
Scanton?
where Office TV show makes fun of?
and 100k 50k? some pounds of bananas
Harry Chapin of Hunger fame,
muscian and 60's radical?
started food banks mostly,
and a lot of songs,
many of which are especially painful
to listen to after hit by a truck,
Cats in the Cradle, used in ReCovery,
Paintings/ Flowers are Red
and the educational system(s),
dominated by teachers without enlighentment
and a limited color palate,
only red roses, and forget the rest of the spectrum,
we have black and only black
Ford color choices Model A and T
orginally, hids the oil spills,
and basically accepted as herses?
Menonite? can have one of the evil things?
but has to be boring/ plain
by religion, instead of a now eco friendly horse?
or BiCycle?/ AutoCycle/VeloMobile,
contraptions to pedal, and a cover, for the sun,
beach bike? Pedal Cart like?
or no?

runs on something other than hay,
sugar cubes,
and Pennzoil?

but i digress,

i'l;l oontificate more,
really i will,
it's a character defect?
some call writing, but that would have to be better
to, i had dreams of much better,
but played games instead,
like i got high?
really just started too early,
up in the night, down early,
have had headAches / aka migranes?
allergy response?
sleping, somewhat on a mat in the living room,
like a dog on the floor,
but decided to take a shower,
took SaturDay off,
was going to volunteer, said MayBe on signup
spreadsheet, shceudling,
and put out something else that might go up here,
about Consensus and Hierarchy the start of a summary
of some of this, actually,
a lot about loss and problems, not solutions,
but experience, and how things have gone,
for the last 10+ years?
getting more like 20+?
so the math sometime,
Obama time, Recovery, RRWG
and grant money,
from the State,
before from the Feds,
and dismantling and targetting,
Blue State to Red State
and at least my vote didn't count,
Accessible for Some,
not all?

So are you a Veteran?
No, didn't serve that way,
Are you a Hero?
not really, though for some,
maybe, signing up for things
MotorCycle rides? Hero or Hog?
Hero is .mil,
and Hog is Police/LawEnforceMent,
and could be like both?
which are you?
could be former military say a MP
and then went (into) LEO
which would be both,
but not so lucky?

Heros are the Dead Ones,
and die senselessly,
i've got that 1960's rebellousness,
post VietNam,
i was alive for a lot of that,
but too young to serve,
i was a teen during some conflicts,
1970's
and couldn't even make sense of a lot of the
(black and White) TV News
People who did serve,
say during Korea, but in Germany
boxing like my (late) father,
instead of Vietnam,
quick history lesson,
Korea proceeded VietNam
but check WikiPedia,
back when we had to hunt down dead trees/
paper chaing things,
going to a library to look things up,
before WiFi, black and white TV time,
and 60 Minutes, and pre? PBS?
no channels might not even get more
HDTV change/ conversion,
UHF?
VHF
Ultra nd Very High Frequency,
not what YouTubeChannel/ HashTag?

rabbit hears/ antennae
round or circular?,
different antennae for different freqencies,
but i digress, again,

and a few strikes and out?

Someone played video games,
simulations? of shooter/ first person shooter games?
and tired for the LeaderBoard,
to kill as many as possible,
but these innocent victums (sp? u i?)?
10 year old kid(s)

It's speculation and likely will never know,
as shooter, is dead/ killed/ shot by LEOs?
and what beef did a kid who didn't graduate
high school have with a school,
Teachers were mean?
and went back to those same teachers,
not said anywhere i've seen,
but some teacher was mean to him
and he got even later?

Shot is grandmother in the face,
and stole the car, crashed it
at the school and started shooting?
at police/ during lunch time,
low staff and graduation / ceremony time(s),
shots fired call(s)
and how to get inside someone's else's head
like it's a Pretender Sim?
had been posing with weapons online
a deadly thing, but NRA was coming to town
and many people do those types of things,
a Gun Rights type State,
even after another mass killing,
this agregous (sp?)
young children,
and po,ice stopping people/ parents from going in,
and tried to wait it out?

Could they calm the kid down?
only limit kililng(s) to those in the school?
maybe it will resolve itself,
what happens to GrandMa that he shot in the face?
waiting for news on that?
will she be OK?
what of the caretaking?
had problems with his parent(s)
had called mom a B_
a common word around here,
a greeting and whistile (sp?)
cat call to tramps and hoes / ho's
while really it's also in the news
about Abortion trting to overturn
Roe v. Wade


And wondering if some should have even been born
certainly some shooters might have been better off aborted?
but don't know how they will tirn out that prebirth,
or do we, genetic testing and eliminating some
types of birth defect(s)
the 6 toed cat(s)
and other abnormalities,
drug addiction and HIV status,
born with HIV
and other problems,
now PanDemica/ Virus,
ConVid19 and protected by the filtering
in the placenta?
what crosses the blood breain /
placenta barrier?
filtered out?

But violence is a contagion,
like some thing poverty is,
and eradicating poverty, a previous governor's
an MD neurologist marketing pre election,
pre black face,
and other scandal's
pre getting ConVid19
and losting some sensation(s)
many don't survive ConVid19
many do, chance of death of the elderly
and sick/ institutionalized

And Wendy's was closing down?
so his even dead end job,
got deadlier?
kept to himself?
a loner?
and other stereotypes
so if want to be left alone,
therefore must be sick
and dangerous?
or Cutting Hair leads to Violence
join the military get blad/ shaved/ cut
and that is a violent business,
to be sure, learn about weapons,
hand guns and bigger,
somehow better/ assault weapon(s),
the AKs and Uzis (sp?)
semiAutomate/ Gatlin guns
mowing poeple down,
but in this case/ instance slowly?

Adding non combatants to the scene,
don't know what was going to happen,
in hind sight maybe seemed better,
let me get to my kid(s)
like armchair foot ball,
though seems like baseball was more popular
there...

and noted not from Texas originally,
and not a mental health problem,
so not flagged, but neurolgoy,
stuttering, like selectively mute
thought autism originally,
be false/ early reports,
so basically anyone different,
and non conformist must be dangerous,
and the most dangerous
like defunding the police,
movement, is the .mil,
as trained and equipped to be,
a defencse, not offensive force,
though sometimes so,
going in to get terrorist leader Bin Laden
strike forces and asault teams,

The Minnesota? kid who shot up the protesting
crowd/ civil unrest, what's his nake
Kyle RittenHouse?
and doesn't have a wikipedia page glorifying him?
wants to be involved and somehow protected
from the damage, defending himself,
use your words?
like kids who fist fight, kick and brawl,
or don't have those words, or not spoken,
mute, selectively or not,
tormented by others,
and really maybe Bullying causes/
continues/ perpetuates violence?
and weapons are just the tools/ means,
of mass violence?

But getting a hair cut meant you conformed,
in 1960's antiVietNam rebellion,
don't trust anyone over 30
not sure how that age was chosen,
post enlistment / draft age?
and your parents age when a teen?

Giving up hippie lifestyle and morals/
movement, manifesto?
so join up toe be violent and be trained
to be a killer?
a better killer?
a killer on a leash?
mad man gone wild?
with weapons/ a Rambo?
or something more current?

A Top Gun?
a Tom Cruise media mogal/
a Johnny Depp of the war movement?
wave the flag and prejudge something i probably
won't see anyways,
and some inside joke(s)
Walk it off?
some media depicdtion and then some kids try something
out, get mad at someone and a superhero
has tro walk it off,
merely a flesh wound,
some somesuch nonesense?
very imporatnt to some
not even important to others,
in inside thing/ a WalledGardent,
illnesses have their own communities,
and going off may be predictable?
surely all males have what it takes
to be violence?
it's all about testosterone?
no?
and mean girls aren't violent?
compaeting over guys/ status/
Queen Biich status?
Top of the ladder/ pack/ squad?
gang?

Well there was ap oint here,
but like most depressives too tired
to do anything about it,
so just write and whine instead...

But 40 miles out of 50
long day commute
or 70 out of 88 to Annapolis?

or somehting to be proud of,
living thoough something else,
most don't have to encounter
lived experience not just theoretical (sp?),
TheShortOfIt
not just a hair cut known to cause
problems like that,
weapons cause the severity,
hate/ bullying likely causes most of it,
so the tool(s), like a pencil can be a weapon
if trained on how to use it,
most would break,
and freedom of speech somehow protected,
but not hate speech?
somehow freedom of expression,
opposing views,
minority Report(s) opinions,
democracy?
and highest execution(s) like Virinia
up there with Texas,
but went no death penalty,
so therefore a kill with impunity?
do onto others as done to you?
get even/ revenge/ vigilante,
and other contagion problems?


But hte grief. loss,
unexplained part of it,
why did he kill?
what was his beef?
Where's the Beef?
Dead end Job?
impress a girl oversees?
and she's a mean one?
like some are,
but maybe not this one,
she's going ou with someone else,
his love of his life and she's fooling around?
playing the Bitch/ mom card
and unfalthful?
or victim bashing
anyone associated with a killer
is therefore responsible?

Or not?
don't they know we are a social species?
so mean to people and it comes back
to haunt you?
didn't graduate, therefore ceremonies
towards honor rolls and that's a target?
of hate/ violance?

And NRA meeting there,
tRump coming to town,
and another escalation?

Or all just loss and grief?
ruminating on the unspeakable?

and memories of same?
brings back previous trauma
911
Columbine?
VATech
anything grew up with,
drunk parent(s)?
and childhood bullying?

So why try getting into th mind(s)
of killer(s)?
Grassy Knoll consiprac theories
or solve the mystery(ies)

Or take a nap,
a coping stratedy that helps many,
time out
and sit in the corner with a dunse (sp?)?
cap on?
shunned and shamed for what thinking
beyond the boundaries,
normal, whatever that is?

Killing is bad,
so anyone who does is bad,
see the fine print,
and heros and Hogs excepted?
police violence?
antipolice and gang
repsect for the dead, and wait a while
to pontificate?

Liberal leftist/
v. right wing nut jobs?
WinNuts?
A Screw Loose?
somewhere?
and cog ina machine/ system wide problems...

Anyways, start a break time,
radio silence?
or get shouted down?
silenced?
and mute/ suttering?
and frustration with that?

want to learn to drive/
don't have a licences,
stole grandma's car/
shot her in the process of getting the key(s)?
and a teacher's husband dies of heart attack
in reaction/ grief?
besides the loss of the wife to violence
knows/ knew of th conflict?

No one has reported teachers were his previous teachers?
so likely not the case,
or would have been front page news,
but going to the unexpected and conjectuer,
and will likely never know,
as perp dead? shot and killed by LEOs

End of Story?
or not, just the begging of media frenzy