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ARoastingFarewell

Page history last edited by jerry 11 years, 9 months ago

ARoastingFarewell

 


 

Introduction/Definition/etc

 

Written as a farewell, but others didn't like it, so not used officially, but shared here for those that might be interested in seeing it....

 

 

Body

 

February 007, 2009

 

Dear Beth:

 

We have convened a meeting

(reminscent of kangaroo courts of times past)

in secret executive session, and declared

that you are to be TDO'ed, shackled, Tazered

and hauled into the magistrate in Prince William County,

as Fairfax City and County would not have you.

 

We are recommending sentence of countless hours,

actually decades, of community service in a basement

without windows of NVMHI ...  Neither your previous

time served nor community service records will

not transfer, as there is another glitch in

the Network of Care system.

 

We hear you have a lot of friends in the systems there,

and feel that you are best placed in a least restrictive

environment and hope you will feel at home to serve a life

sentence or boring meetings with countless pointless

interruptions.

 

We contacted the Brain Foundation, but they do not

take forensic patients, and are not currently running

a halfway house.  LIPOS beds were at a premium,

and the closure of hospital beds at Alexandria

Hospital left no placement.

 

It was determined that your crime was conspiring,

technically attempting to conspire to organize

a gang called 'CSX' Consumers/Survivors/Ex-Patients (CSX)

who's turf is Northern Virginia, though trying to

spread across the state and currently looking to

vacation in Florida over spring break or the Easter

holiday, we can't tell which...

 

Quantico's Criminal Minds superstar reported the CSX gang

had migrated south from Pennsylvania in some carpet bagging

scheme during the first Great Depression.

 

Your charges are complicated by the fact that you

were doing it 'for the purposes of recovery'

over the period of a number of years (we've lost count),

and that is an illegal gathering under Prince William County

Government's Employee Code of Conduct,

[plus 'sympathizing with the enemy']

any non existent applicable regional laws

and one lawyers' husband declared,

"not within Virginia statute."

 

Your appeals to Governor Mark Warner were denied

as he's gotten a better job in Washington, DC.

 

We are checking if further charges will be pressed

based on applicable Federal trafficking laws,

which we misinterpreted as transporting

Consumers/Survivors/Ex-Patients across county lines

for the purposes of slave labor.

 

A summer volunteer/ candy stripper from the local hospital

is doing computer searches for any organized crime

laws related  to these charges.  She is working on her Ph.D.

and is very aggressive, but we can't figure out how

she plans to graduate from NVCC Woodbridge with a Ph.D...

Maybe she will just teach there, as the commute anywhere

else is too bothersome.

 

Enclosed, you will find some evidence against you, and

a jury of your peers will be speaking briefly

FOR AND AGAINST you [though some will ABSTAIN],

but the case is heard under a new hanging judge,

trying to make a name for himself

after the Attorney General Gilmore was brought up on

ethics charges, so we are not hopeful.

 

Please note the attached mug shot is provided,

in case you don't already have one.

 

While we had hoped to divert the case to a Mental Health Court,

one could not be found within the legal limit of 48 hours,

though current legislation is pending for extending that time,

we know Richmond works as slow as mollassas

and the current budget crisis precludes us from

Dys-Organizing one.

 

We found a public defender,

but he was not licensed by the Virgina Bar,

could not obtain a passport to cross the Potomac,

into the Great State of Virginia within the allotted time

and has too high a caseload to actually help you.

Rumor has it he is looking for a better paying

job with a stable local government, as non profit

work is too risky and United Way is not hiring.

 

You were observed by Psychiatrist Kerrie,

who is on vacation during your crisis time but left orders

for you to take your medicine and quit complaining about it.

If you fail to comply you will be outpatient committed

in an unnamed Central Virginia CSB.

 

Your appeals to Lynn,

went unheard as she had resigned and could not be located,

though she is rumored to be out skiing and we are checking

local ERs surrounding the Swiss Alps.

 

We hope you can sit back and enjoy your last meal,

as we heard you didn't eat much before Co-Chairing

general RRWG, now called a Resource Reduction and

Redirection Group that has not obtained Working Group

status.

 

Further charges of killing off [killing is a personnel term for firing]

your accomplices, Pam and Wendy are pending.

 

If you wish to have a Priest give you last rites

or answer your prayers, Reverend Bill,

has volunteered to give you spiritual guidance,

but he heard you are not Presbyterian,

so maybe finding a Rabbi or sentencing you to

in house 12 Step meetings would be more appropriate.

 

We heard him mutter something about not being that

Hire Powered, whatever that is, as he left the building

in disgust, with 5 CSX gang members in tow...

 

Technical assistance from Doug could not create

a spreadsheet nor email system on his handheld wireless computer

to tally the number of substantiated meeting slips required,

as his Assistive Technology project provided backup laptop

hard drive with the GPS option, Windows computer crashed while riding

his scooter on the way here in winter weather.  It was rumored

to be running M$ Windows 95.

 

You will not be allotted 5 minutes time to speak in your own defense,

as only a fool would try to be their own lawyer.

 

Sincerely,

 

Jerry

 

 

Conclusion

Or similar

 

Discussion

A place for feedback on the page presented.

 

There would probably be a debate or worse on this creative fictional writing,

but we don't talk directly about it, and maybe we should...

 

Page History

20090215 Jerry

  • Jerry shared this page, as someone said it was cancelled, possibly sabotaging others efforts.

 

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