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Page history last edited by jerry 7 months, 4 weeks ago








While i normally don't delve into feelings,

it's the F Word, for many, myself included,

some interaction, observations as the holidays

converge on a deadline, so to speak...




Original Text


A few instances in my travels,

walking, maybe 5 miles, i've not yet

done the download of the walk from


but maybe 4 as 3+ at least by previous,

and 10 seems too much, will see...


Elevator, kid face down into a device

mom pulls something out of the kids

hair, maybe indicating look up,

as most kids have their faces in devices,

I ask boy or girl,

point out that He might want his own device,

and they seem to get to that conclusion,

after an I hate you, I'm going to Get You,

explosion, his game had disconnected

probably faraday cage and other stuff blocking

signal, WiFi and Cell id different,

so jumping from place to place,

WiFi here, there, and then work on plan time,

see what useage is like, signal and where can

connect, but home would be the best,

so calling to get one back,

school, and some other places have/

be safe places, and some have family plans,

and what to do with mom/s old phone,

hand me down, but still on mom's bill,

which if done with chores, allowance,

good grades, etc, might work out

and be a motivator,

possibly to look up and interact with people,

talk for the brief ride, express things,

I want, can i have, what about,

and negotiate, maybe difficult to do

when hormones, etc start, and the

seasonal and other pressures, mom worries

about bills, etc, and well, want to talk to

him/her, before genetically surgically implanted

(twee/teen girls and Talking, Talk is a 4 letter word

to some males, likely some females too,

i've never been a female, though many seem to

think a lot of what i do have female qualities,

and that's without the ComeOutOfTheSewingCloset2011

so some safe / good topics,



talked with a guy in scrubs in the


which now has 3 gMaps gMaps2019

pins for the same store,

AFAC has 2, I've rported both,

and how they merge/ and/or try deleting

the smallest, say most of what i put up,

and the OWNER/ Claim this Business

and merge done by starting over,

anyways, checking on some stuff,

had spent an hour there,

and talked with the real manager

on monday, after being attacked by someone

claiming to be, but turns out not,

at least not there, and their policey of no photos of

products, I was in her way, with fork lift

trying to stock when very busy, Saturday early

afternoon turns out to be when the previous

week they had put out racks of discounted

shoes, etc, which i got one i had been looking for

and a second Winter Boot, but want to probably

exchange for the slip on type,

the slip on instead of lace, and dark colour,

and then there are work boots, the last in my size

and others gone, so limited times, and FUG

fear UnCerTainty and Doubt,

likely all emotions played on by retailr(s)

and thinking on how the delaying tactics,

of talked about the problem of the not working


bought last year and got all sorts of excuses,

she didn't believe me about something,

there is a grey area in publishing,

citizen journalists,

bloggers and Media and Press,

i made a distinction of have an editor,

and/or doing it all yourself,

having done some editing on other people's

stuff, and lofty goals of FreeDom of the Press,

mentioned elsewhere, and who's paper/

publication are you writing for,

readership and sold, / vs. free,

having recently been looking into Journalism

CensorShip, and how much of what ive put up

has come down/ gone missing,

and how muc hof that is google,

and weeding out outliers,

they may not publuish the real

expeirences of wome of our oppressed

peoples, myself included, so saying it's

ghetto like area and describing attacks

threats, etc, ridicule etc, not good marketing

and just about anybody can complain/ report

a posting, and the poster gets nothing,

about your post on Pin X, has been reported as



Off Topic,

Not about this Location,





which may be why he got to look at mom's

phone, and prepaid might be a good start,

Own his ass, a big long leash,

know what and where he is at all times,

how to report problems, i have mom's phone

I'm 10 years old, or whatever,

so not legally responsible for x,y,z

and reporting adults, when adults are

the hate mongers, my mom says

to report people like that,

anyone with bags,

i don't like the looks of him,

etc,, OMG, there's a black man in my neighborhood,

and/or vice versa, OMG a white guy, girl, etc.

in some other neighborhoods...


And getting into the store another day,

a crying kid, loud, and i try the train horn

to provide diversion, the cashier caught on,

and pointed to me, and the kid stopped

for a bit, others noticed the different sound,

and then ,but i wanted to do that,

and/or other stuff likely only fixed

by some rest, getting away from all the tempting

stuff, i want that candy, toy, etc

while parent is worried about cost,

i cry at what i end up paying

trying to support the kid,

without sperm donor/ dad/ whatever they are mad

about , etc...

I miss dad, and other feelings come out,

when they finally talk about what is going

on, and i wanted to walk, want a horn/whistle,

that hat, etc...

So much commercialism,

and i don't think Jesus, Buddha, etc

had this in mind for what XMas, seasons,

traveling, shopping, and commericalisation

is all about...

If your only time spent with kids/

is in cars/vans/buses/

what i want,

maybe talking about why

what it might do for you,

my friends all have phones, i don't

why can't i have one

well, you are losing things,  can't find your

socks, shoes, etc and i don't want another

$40+-$200 missing and a bill coming after


You have you face in a screen 90% of the time

we are around, and i know it's not all school work,

so games have taken over your life,

to the exclusion of the people around you,

so, we don't want to encourage that,

and the games you like are network

games so they eat the data connection,

so you would have to play those at home,

so metered, and prepaid cards, etd

are the only option,

i don't care if your friends all have the new

latest iPhone 25 or whatever,

that is not the kind of kid i want/

and you don't have the grades,

and don't help out around here,

for me to pay that kind of money

for a brat, basically, that is how you are acting,

so not getting it...

and other scripted and real type interactions

holiday time/ and /or not...


Some have missing parents, mine are gone,

so know more what that is like now,

but as a kid, my parents split, divorced,

so not really talking about


What's it like when mom is not around,

why do i have to do all the dishes,

laundry, what am i the maid?

all because you can't keep a marriage together?

and / or your drinking, etc and i wouldn't want to live

with you either, etc...


Anyways imagined language/ drama

and scripting my own little scenarios

of dialogue kids and parents

and others might oversee/ hear

and well, rudolph the red nose old guy,

i happened to have a  red light and remote,

turns green too, but not a lot of orange and safety

colours, but could have managed a little something

but the culture and feelings were hate/ displeasure,

and we don't like him, so just left,

walked to anohter,

and eventually by the third, fifth, made a kid laugh

and made it worth while, the dad went to use the bathrom,

and then laughing, making fun of me,

but better emotions than the noisy crying,

perhaps bringing headphnes and ingoring the rest of

the world would have been  better but i also could

have been run over, people twice, there were police,

fire, ambulances, perhaps drunk driving and accidents

inattentive and cardiac arrest(s), among other stressors,

i'm walking off a candy bar,

doing errands, having been to three Aldis checking on something,

inventory, found some bargain, cheep things i had wanted to try

but can't spend on laundry if want something else,

so i'm not immune to wanting stuff,

a lot out there and wish/ shoping listss in the thousands of things

to try, eventually ,if/when/ on sale, discounted ,

perhaps after holiday sales, when i usually try stuff,

that new stuffing, varieties, etc

and it's likely just hobby for putting up here,

to try something different,

talking to someone else, sometimes is something different,

not talking, other times is different, for me...

depends, one/ i get pumped up/ exercising and

more awake after/ during, so have more energy,

some other woman played the i'm scared card,

after basically interrogating me,

which i just shook/ shrugged off,

give him something to think about,

and i have to teach him,

when really what i'm doing is none of her business,

her fears/ insecurities, etc are her's not mine,

i happen to be terrible with people with anxiety

disorders, and so much of parenting is probably

about managing that,

so not so helpful,

and some one else(s) stepped in,

she does that,

and some think they can make an exclusive

club out of a place be reporting anyone not

X,Y,Z, Rich, White/Black/Muslim/Catholic, etc

and he/she/it's different, so lets enforce some

unwritten code on his/her/ heir asses

Gang like hate/ hanging/ lynching,

vigilantee (sp ) ism...


When the infraction is imaginary in the first place...


Anyways, I'm glad i'm not religious,

people seem to try to force others to be,

saying happy holidays to someone and getting

bah, humbug back,

may be funny ,depends upon delivery,

mood/ situation, but also

some people are talking to each other,

at least at the superficial level,

who may not have ever said anything to each other

any other time.

so communication, and interaction, looking up,

even for roudolph (sp?)/ rain deer/ the moon,

and winter solstice, coming up, shortly,

see what the weather is like,

blowing winds going thru the jacket

picked up coming back from Manassas,

the Howard sweatshirt was damp

and getting dark/ sunset,

etc so a few pictures of that,

talking to the dog park people,

walk a different route,

try something different,

and get thru another holiday



And some food, and next bread left

out, for strangers, neighbors, some niceties

it seems, random acts of kindness,

probably closer to Jesus/ Buddha,

$WhatEver than the usual,

Santa want you to Buy X,Y,Z

type messages the mainstream

media is flooding us with

recently and mostly...




Modified Text


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