AnotherHeatRElatedDeathMayBeMe2024
from
AnotherHeatDeathMayBeMe2024.C203X.emacs-gtk.txt
&&
SituationalAssessmentTemplate2017
Introduction/Definition/etc
SomeOfHowThePoorIsKilledByTheSystems2012
GettingProduceBoxAlmostKilledMe2020
and likely others I'm forgetting
for whatever defensive memory reasons there
likely Freudian? not a slip but a lapse?
Body
Original Text
AnotherHeatDeathMayBeMe2024.C203X.emacs-gtk.txt
So a lot going on
mostly leading up to Court
but other htings as well
just can't remember them very well...
Basically Hell, for some value of Hell
HeDoubleHockeyPucks7 upsideDown
old calculator game
when they wern't abacus/ slide rules
and some of us were nerds,
well, still are, but can't say it as easily
Geek, sheik? only if rich?
and if can't spell it maybe not...
So Work my way backwards,
and fill in until can't anymore?
PP was about the last thing i did YesterDay,
but had to pay POBox fee
left out as early as i could because a heat advisory
from Noon or so, 104 heat index or whatevers
But had things i had to do,
some court related, mostly new month,
and a FriDay so a PP day,
and need to do that in person,
bill paying i can do online
which i don't like doing but iwth pandemic
had to and still do,
WashingTon Gas, an electronic bill pay
wants information and a OTP OneTimePAssWord
and a PIN Personally Identifiable Number or somesuch
to know it's you
not someone else
but Crackers, and having to remember them all
stalkers and others, kids mostly
looking over shoulder
while have to be out in public
unlike porn i guess keep things private
and out of sight
this public access, my Data is out
almost, so have to conserve
and do things i can in pubic
which in this case is updating apps
in the lobby, maybe save a Gig each time
i do that,
and ACP has ended, was in June, iirc
not July/ August
and paid for a month or more
but the device i worked on crapped out
battery literally smoked?
some over voltage screen
and it dies a horbile death
taking my TheSimsFreePlay on it
with it?
similar gDrug account and a backup
and try getting it going on aotnher mahicne
but the eLife is likely dead,
stays alive/ in sta(y)sis
if updating the game?
but too long and likely gone
not aged out
neglected, bad Human
killing artificial life
and not nicely either,
just left/ abandoned,
etc...
So i'm a virtual hitler?
didn't let them out and free?
didn't let use bathroom,
and peed on self/ crapped
and starved, and wasn't even there
to clean up and bury
and other htings i can flaldulate/ flayal?
whatever those words are?
but it's just a game right?
but by symbolism, and if believe
and had to to start/ do that much tome
on something, give it meaning
and then take it back?
NeverMind, like just joking?
but not really...
So how does that compare to
me and what's going on in? court?
for court?
avoiding court?
Well i'd thought the 4k was a tease
and they would not do it like all the packages
i keep being told, someone has soemthing foryou
go downstairs and nothing...
someone else got it,
and usually after i am dead tired
and have to go down,
like yesterday,
Just one more thing,
and then you can rest, but not really,
as almost died out there,
it certainly felt like it
along 50 construction
had to avoid hills could
maybe have done Columbia Pike
(not Bike)
but had groceries from PP
after other htings,
check POBox, but that doens't open
early anymore apparently
and a guy raging about it,
and i had to hear it,
complaining aobut it's because of homeless
andi 'm there baggy as usual
so have to say, i was homeless and didn't do that,
and he rages on,
like i need to hear him
while likely suicidal again myself,
and he's got more crap for me?
like i don't have enough of my own?
And i mention I've been
and worked for a shelter,
and he doens't stop,
just goes to complain to staff
in the back
and it's 30 minutes wait
0900a ish to 0930a posted
and not listening to reason
they are out in the heat for the whole
day and he's got problems with 15-30 minutes?
WTF?
well call LeJoy, then complain to them
and he tries calling some number
and gets a voicemAil tree or something
i couldn't hear it, but keeps him busy
and less raging
then a while more
But i'me stuck between getitng things done
and has to be on DeadLine
and no excuses right?
lawyers can have vacation in planning
court dates, and conflicting
but the clients don't matter?
so they want to 86 me
a code for trash,
maybe white trash but most people doing
it are white, so seems somehow incorrect,
beauty is in the eye of the beholder?
or somesuch art term?
and somehow i'm to be ReCycled?
By Law you have to recycle in ARlington
but somehow i'm just trash?
becausei keep some packages,
are generally baggy , since being homeless
originally, sheltered homeless but similar,
while had to pass an unsheltered homeless
woman along thew ay, one time yelling at me
i have too much stuff,
i replied i'm keeping it
basically im' to give to her instead
what i just labored and went and got,
like kids everyone is their delivery person?
where you going with my pizza
/ bike etc?
a joke sometimes
but sometimes not,
and i don't do delivery,
so i'm not the one doing it
and it's my money
and my sweat equity
and not giving it away,
while originally giving to hers other ways
like giving this shit back now...
and she's near a church one it went
to , for Debtor's Anonymous until it closed
and i closed it, money gone,
literature stolen and
i'm still going tryin gto keep it
from dying sp? and
well it didn't
was a high mass time meeting
all the people wen there
but i guess because i did
others didn't anymore?
the reverse Midas touch?
not the muffler company
the gold king?
idk look it up...
So i'm to give the gallon milk
to her? it's cold and heavy
normally just get half gallon
but all they had
and the 4 cans of stuff
on the first rack
new volunteers?
and they know everything
playing Korean Grocery and with authentic
Koreans/ can't have that?
i dk if stereotypical or not
as i'm not a black customer,
but poor so maybe what people think of as black
and it's in Norht Alringtom
North Korea from all i can tell
and just watched some TV overnight
a bunch of woman went to North Korea
with Gloria Stienem? sp?
and all the press about that
not sure how to summarize that
different lifestyle
dictatorship?
no creativity/ life in the kids presented?
and didn't get physically hurt
but emo damage?
to the kids for parading for outside
people?
idk
not been a kid in decades
despite trying to find a happy childhood,
inner child and more reparenting
while from outward appearances
a spoiled brat myself,
by most definitions i have a lot,
but also nothing of my own
really?
so the duality
i rant about in others?
must be why it bohers me?
if i'm that way myself?
some psychobabble about that?
And i've got new/ novel
other stalkers?
someone that is likely realted to someone
who was killed stalking me?
her father?
and she's hanging aroudn the lobby
claimed to be wiating for someone
anda ntoher guy
also didn't need to use the office
aline and others before me,
finally get in there?
going to the office
ask for a Ledger
and see if anything came in?
nothing told
or was verbally but have to see on paper
to believe it
and it's there so problem solved
but a stalker and needs ammunition
to get rid of me
and there it is?
i can give to them because i got something?
money is money
and they want it
and somehow i get some
and they think they should have it?
not that easy,
qualifying for it
anda broken window
someone had to hget out of there
and i'ts torture/ held hostage
and somehow a training
and been there too long
and get going
keep going before they get you again
but a trap also as somehow
intrigued and have to analyze it
and it works with bored housewives
somehow not bored anymore?
and trapped by trying to help
loved ones like me?
and somehow it's my relatives?
can hear voices but not see
and some do impressions/
someone parrots my family
and been doing it for a while
a deep vake voice changer/
talking / squalking box?
kids doing
pranking
really rather sick stuff
if done on a deceased family member
like we can program you based on
your dead relative?
while claiming not dead?
and all sorts of stuff like that
Anyways i look crazy for mentioning it
and part of the abuse/ sickness of it
so leave that there
a british/ aussie term?
from an online con i did a while back
Autism/ Aspie?
From the Inside Out?
which ia haven't kept up with
but did use $14 or so
for a 10 pound (sterling?)
online register for a fourth/ fifth?
lost count AutScape
since AuTreat not an option
and maybe because of me?
i'm terrible for sayin hgit
but if they wer ehurting people
which seemed they tried to do to me
tell the leader/ head of it
not to do it
and well auties sometimes very literally
and stopped? not running it anymore
and nothing to go to
but also didn't know they had spawned
it for EU/UK
and then PanDemic and online
so can see what they were doing
without travelling
Autism Network International
and a gathering from around th world
mostly US but some travelled to be a part
and brought it back to their countries
and some flurished and created others
now UK/EU rivals,
as this one stopped,
something happened and i had left
so i don't know what,
but stalking mentioned
and i'm having it too,
from Patch Adams and problems
and something about being out
about MH and gets lot sof followers
and stalkers and well i hve them too
now...
Somehow i might understand some of it
but also don't
people have little else
i guess, problems of their owns
but can relate to mine
so somehow being around me
gives them the answers they are looking for?
idk because can't be around people i don't know
and stranger danger etc...
I'm ironically?
not that much of ap eople person
but compared to some others
i somehow am?
like blind leading the blind
half blind is king?
idk i can't be otuside myself to see how others see
me and would i listen if they tried?
and old psych / counseling thing
a box
like logic
what i know/ see
and what others do and don't
so things i know and other see
and others don't know and don't see
4 combinations of that?
probably has a name / label
but i don't recall it...
So lets call it God/DogBox?
some joke on that?
some black hole to put things in
while don't have much else
or too much depending on what it is...
so for values of It
good/ bag
and been saying for a while now
people say good morning
and i reply
which i usually just say bah humbug
or something
or ignore.
Morning is Fact,
Good is subjective,
or i'd argue Good...
people passing a food line,
like depression bread lines
and i'm supposed to be happy
about being on display?
for others to see,
even parents dropping off kids
for summer camp?
scared kids some crying
but also some want to go
to have signed up for it in the first place
and lucky to get in?
idk
but scary are thy going to like me?
am i going to get hurt?
just the line of old poor people
seems some grandparents age
would pinch cheeks
but not handing out cookies
so what good are they?
and we give to them?
they take our cookies?
why?
seems in reverse?
no?
old give young get
well that works for a while
but now millenials
and well Joe Biden is too old?
did the right thing at the time
with being Vice to Obama
now biting him in the arse/ass?
But ushering in the first black female
/asian/ something off white
president Kamila? Kamala? Harris?
and/or just a contender idk?
JD Vance seems to have been bought off
was an outspoken critic,
and came up with the Hitler comments
and other things afaict,
i try not to read and follow that,
but RedNeck Ellagy?
or somesuch
from Applachaia?
where my grandparents are from
and my parents,
who got phDs and got out
and then the Marshallis/?
shale/ natural gas and seemed
a chemical waste land
like texas oil fields?
one rather prestine
and now not,
all while busy in the city/ shitty
and RustBelt/ etc
while working Mil/ ReSearch
and lost my roots, literally
grandparents died,
aunts uncles
decades and busy,
too busy to help?
trying to survive and they didn't...
so the survivors guilt on that?
and inheriting a home
to grandmothers house we got
and some mining/ drilled thorug hthe
living room floor to see if gas
underneath?
phtoso of that on how to sell it now
to anyone but the gas fracking companies?
and my aunt that went to live back home
and she died of cancer from that?
or what?
and i couldn't talk to her
call her wants to talk to you
but i can't deal with it?
now can't make up for it?
more toxic stuff,
and deadly emo/ psych stuff
too...
and here i'm airing it publicly
after the fact?
Well i'm supposed to die in the heat
right? system demands it
have to do x,y,z
while writing about how bad it is for some of us
and others don't have it bad(ly?)
but whatevers right
i complain about someone ranting
and do it myself so what?
can't me neigther?
stop?
i guess i'm must putitng it out there
if anyone cares to read it
other s require you to not me
right?
so my legacy?
megabytes of whining?
but whatevers right
past the time that others even care anymore
and lots of toxic reasons not to...
passed by a construction crew
on Rt 50 going another way back
after paying at the old one
what i don't have anymore
a 24 hour one with lock boxes
are they still there?
didn't see?
but i could try another set of hills
or go the long way
took too long and now in the heat
past 09xx a
10a opening PP went later
instead of earlier
and heat wave again
so deadly and have to to get food,
going to be busy today
anyways
so do something other days
ahead/ prep
and expected i guess
no camp and kids seen,
not this week done for now
a break before school again
back to school and supplies
backpacks etc
and prep
shifting/ pivoting
vacay mode winding down
and some beach trip rescheduled
i QRCode it but have to pay $10
for it, and no one there to pay,
while conflicitng get $10 from
and past the due date
so the one pre cancelled/ rescheduled
still on there
and they don't want me to go?
somehow cna't
and not allowed
don't like me
and paid to be there
and or the hateful neighbors/
kids?
ruining their fun
i can't because they don't like me?
WTF?
and staff too?
so someone paid for me?
so i'm on the list?
and try my SUP?
found a rolling accordion cart int he trash area
and keeping it
and they find that i have it and want it again
so my use ok and they want back?
left in trash room with trash in it
and i take it then they want it?
so they can use it for CAFB line?
and/or play stuf/ as a bin for
toy chest?
once trash and if i take it they want it?
but broken and smelly and in the trash
for a reason besides broken?
i'll get sick like the mop and buckets?
so pandemic is 4 days and it dies
without being kept alive?
but some unknown sickness?
HIV? and i'm somehow in danger
for longer?
certainly 4 days is too long
to be in the trash
emptied every day or so
or 3 if weekend?
FriDay in and Gone MonDay?
so touching it should be gloved?
hazardous?
or not?
Dumpster diving or ReCycling
and how am i trash for being Green?
saving/ land fill/ waste and using somehow?
until fill the place with stuff like that?
there wre new chest of drawers/ dressers
offered, but i was late to ask
and gone by the time i could
decide and replay, it was an email to
ManBoyBunWorm and not talking to
so screw you again i guess,
or not witchever is worse...
And i came back,
lived on the heat
got food and didn't give any
not my role people with cars and more
money, etc, jobs, houses
can take care of it,
despite here thoughts it's tax to go by here
and blocking my only routes
go around if you don't like it
panhandling and other stuff
and when i'm gone
like a lot of threats
you never gave me anything
well i wrote about you
and maybe that helps?
or not depending on how that goes...
and others reactions to it
But people i knew when it was
happening with me, the first time
i guess i now have to add,
and they are burried/ in shrined
there as well, names left out
and i'm having problems remembering
painful or decades, part of both
i'm guessing...
Well, came home and
didn't even do the local hill
to wait in the lobby with WiFi
and see others
just drag self in
i'd been telling others out
biker(s) and joggers get in it's bad,
one responded almost there
a block or so more
checking on the homeless woman?
joggers with headphones not hearing
or out to check on me idk?
the full part of that
is i remember having a problem in the heat
and maybe i stroked out
something bad and might explain
some things
too warm and went anyways,
so now telling others don't be like this
and don't risk it
or end up like me?
can't remember shit,
well getting old too
so going to happen anyways
but using myself as a negative example
on this/ that/ the other
others have been doing it to me
and you have to read this huy as punishment?
and/or guilty pleasures by sadists
and others?
narcisists and somehow all the bad stuff
and follows me around like a stink?
So get a response
on trying to get a brick
replacement for the eBike
and it's to ban/ block/
not even listen to emails from me?
and i spend a while an hour or more
trying to give the history and
refute that?
to people who don't want to hear from me
in the first place?
so i guess the three trips in the
previous heat wave or a few back
were supposed to kill me?
and can't have things that would
interfere with that?
to use eBike i arlay had but
lost the charger which is basically the key
and kept from me
like the used eBike and can't
have that either?
kept away be sadists in support
money and biking?
and later see the $400-500
SNT DR they sent a check
but another never received
and asked for $1.9k for back rent
and that never seen either
so someone running off with them all,
kids likely and delivery problems
and then have to sask for more
so keep pumping me for money
and i guess someone's getting some
but not me?
until the $3k and it shows up
while other that's good right?
like forcing a depressive to be happy/nice
also sick/ sadistic stuff
but oh so common, around here
and me, ssee it's funny to poke the tired
almost dead bear....
here's how you do it...
But vitrol/ venting off?
can't and tired
typing going and barely touched
the surfac/e hot pavement
and sun, record heats
heat waves and advisories
and i'm giving away eggs to throw?
drank frozen with some thawed
and mixed up bike water bottle with
single use reuse opened block of ice
and thawing the apple juice
in the air, as put the gallon milk
in the isolated to get it home
onle one bag rice other was boxed
whee, never even tried,
while took bread,
and some other, turkey stuffing mix
box, other time was dried potatoes
not used yet so not replacing
but boxed quart juice i'd twice put in the
fridge and/or freezer gone
even the warm ones...
to save my live some time
but guess that doesn't matter
they hate me and can't leave in there
or replace, as all gone like the
Kraft Parmesan powdered cheese,
take one a week, no duplicates
find something you like
can't have it
find little you can have not wheat,
not meat, not what?
some other stuff food sensitive/
autie/ other stuff, foodies, bad foodie/
overeater / under etc
and have to leave thign sthere
can't take all the even rationed
quota stuff...
but also can't give it away,
fdried raisins considered a stcnk
but not on the top two shelves
where granola / nutty buddy etc bars
are chips / potato and fritos like
can't onle have one
skipping chocolates
while had found some sale at nearby
Target doing the island hopping
AC one place
and buy something not just water
and bike in and baggy
and use the bathroom,
while locked out elsewhere,
but EBT refreshed new month
so there's $23
but spent that already
Giant, not closing another one
and that took more
travelling money i call it
something while i'm out and about
and got some sking where clearance
was and reminded bakery there
so half sweet potato pie
$2-3?
and a strip danish
been a while since i've had those
and cash back $40
and take that elsewhere
as safety for end of month(ly)
likely burn through fast
been back to the Columbia Pike
SunDay and $1 gifted $10
oh you're him
someone has to be?
but couple three times this year,
only once last years staff
switching off others doing it
others are so much nicer
6 months off of it
renewing not applying again online
and so not happy to see you?
burnt bridges or have to be true
to how i feel?
idk atm,
tired and venting
and probaly not even clear on that
but will see
if/ when read over
and put up...
And not getting to other things
what i don't recall atm
maybe in edits/
maybe not...
just stop,
like ranting huy ay po ox
but can't
$118 for 6 months of mail
mostly bills?
but need an id home
especially if losing the residence...
but somehow also not
as money came in but
not the calling it off
cancelling court
so have to go
likely heat/ storm again
might be already forecast
but can't see as too low data
and down to do it before now...
nite nite,
don't eat more sugar
mixed berry turns out gummies
and choclate bars
seems all i bought was sugar
but not getting bakery sweets at
AFAC so must get some while i can
but got others at PP
so balances out
treats and some trading up
bought some beans,
chick peas/ garbanzo
on sale 0.40
and 0.80
Lucky Creole style Pinto beans
with pork/ meat
while expected to be vegan
and can't i'd starve
refusing the 5-10 pound
bag chicken drumsticks
either CAFB or PP sourced CAFB
and/or one fish, chicken, chichen hot dogs,
no cheeseburger/ turkey
not this week again,
so some from PP
instead, and is that warm and going to make
me sick/ kill me like some deli meat people
left out to do so,
warm to the touch
and another threat on my life
stomach first?
but some other memory bubbles
livening up puttin thise donw
on paper
but likely too painful to read?
like the response to blocking/ banning
and wow that's catty
and i'm a dog person
after put out
and might have been better
to have a waiting period?
but no have to repsonse
in case code out again?
last worse vitrol
i guess the response to the system
even if its' keeping me this time,
maybe get me fourth fifth time
when most basebell only
gets 3 time at bat,
extra innings on this pinata?
they hate him (me) that much...
i guess...
860 4138 21832 AnotherHeatDeathMayBeMe2024.C203X.emacs-gtk.txt
Modified Text
AnotherHeatDeathMayBeMe2024.C203X.emacs-gtk.txt
So a lot going on
mostly leading up to Court
but other htings as well
just can't remember them very well...
Basically Hell, for some value of Hell
HeDoubleHockeyPucks7 upsideDown
old calculator game
when they wern't abacus/ slide rules
and some of us were nerds,
well, still are, but can't say it as easily
Geek, sheik? only if rich?
and if can't spell it maybe not...
So Work my way backwards,
and fill in until can't anymore?
PP was about the last thing i did YesterDay,
but had to pay POBox fee
left out as early as i could because a heat advisory
from Noon or so, 104 heat index or whatevers
But had things i had to do,
some court related, mostly new month,
and a FriDay so a PP day,
and need to do that in person,
bill paying i can do online
which i don't like doing but iwth pandemic
had to and still do,
WashingTon Gas, an electronic bill pay
wants information and a OTP OneTimePAssWord
and a PIN Personally Identifiable Number or somesuch
to know it's you
not someone else
but Crackers, and having to remember them all
stalkers and others, kids mostly
looking over shoulder
while have to be out in public
unlike porn i guess keep things private
and out of sight
this public access, my Data is out
almost, so have to conserve
and do things i can in pubic
which in this case is updating apps
in the lobby, maybe save a Gig each time
i do that,
and ACP has ended, was in June, iirc
not July/ August
and paid for a month or more
but the device i worked on crapped out
battery literally smoked?
some over voltage screen
and it dies a horbile death
taking my TheSimsFreePlay on it
with it?
similar gDrug account and a backup
and try getting it going on aotnher mahicne
but the eLife is likely dead,
stays alive/ in sta(y)sis
if updating the game?
but too long and likely gone
not aged out
neglected, bad Human
killing artificial life
and not nicely either,
just left/ abandoned,
etc...
So i'm a virtual hitler?
didn't let them out and free?
didn't let use bathroom,
and peed on self/ crapped
and starved, and wasn't even there
to clean up and bury
and other htings i can flaldulate/ flayal?
whatever those words are?
but it's just a game right?
but by symbolism, and if believe
and had to to start/ do that much tome
on something, give it meaning
and then take it back?
NeverMind, like just joking?
but not really...
So how does that compare to
me and what's going on in? court?
for court?
avoiding court?
Well i'd thought the 4k was a tease
and they would not do it like all the packages
i keep being told, someone has soemthing foryou
go downstairs and nothing...
someone else got it,
and usually after i am dead tired
and have to go down,
like yesterday,
Just one more thing,
and then you can rest, but not really,
as almost died out there,
it certainly felt like it
along 50 construction
had to avoid hills could
maybe have done Columbia Pike
(not Bike)
but had groceries from PP
after other htings,
check POBox, but that doens't open
early anymore apparently
and a guy raging about it,
and i had to hear it,
complaining aobut it's because of homeless
andi 'm there baggy as usual
so have to say, i was homeless and didn't do that,
and he rages on,
like i need to hear him
while likely suicidal again myself,
and he's got more crap for me?
like i don't have enough of my own?
And i mention I've been
and worked for a shelter,
and he doens't stop,
just goes to complain to staff
in the back
and it's 30 minutes wait
0900a ish to 0930a posted
and not listening to reason
they are out in the heat for the whole
day and he's got problems with 15-30 minutes?
WTF?
well call LeJoy, then complain to them
and he tries calling some number
and gets a voicemAil tree or something
i couldn't hear it, but keeps him busy
and less raging
then a while more
But i'me stuck between getitng things done
and has to be on DeadLine
and no excuses right?
lawyers can have vacation in planning
court dates, and conflicting
but the clients don't matter?
so they want to 86 me
a code for trash,
maybe white trash but most people doing
it are white, so seems somehow incorrect,
beauty is in the eye of the beholder?
or somesuch art term?
and somehow i'm to be ReCycled?
By Law you have to recycle in ARlington
but somehow i'm just trash?
becausei keep some packages,
are generally baggy , since being homeless
originally, sheltered homeless but similar,
while had to pass an unsheltered homeless
woman along thew ay, one time yelling at me
i have too much stuff,
i replied i'm keeping it
basically im' to give to her instead
what i just labored and went and got,
like kids everyone is their delivery person?
where you going with my pizza
/ bike etc?
a joke sometimes
but sometimes not,
and i don't do delivery,
so i'm not the one doing it
and it's my money
and my sweat equity
and not giving it away,
while originally giving to hers other ways
like giving this shit back now...
and she's near a church one it went
to , for Debtor's Anonymous until it closed
and i closed it, money gone,
literature stolen and
i'm still going tryin gto keep it
from dying sp? and
well it didn't
was a high mass time meeting
all the people wen there
but i guess because i did
others didn't anymore?
the reverse Midas touch?
not the muffler company
the gold king?
idk look it up...
So i'm to give the gallon milk
to her? it's cold and heavy
normally just get half gallon
but all they had
and the 4 cans of stuff
on the first rack
new volunteers?
and they know everything
playing Korean Grocery and with authentic
Koreans/ can't have that?
i dk if stereotypical or not
as i'm not a black customer,
but poor so maybe what people think of as black
and it's in Norht Alringtom
North Korea from all i can tell
and just watched some TV overnight
a bunch of woman went to North Korea
with Gloria Stienem? sp?
and all the press about that
not sure how to summarize that
different lifestyle
dictatorship?
no creativity/ life in the kids presented?
and didn't get physically hurt
but emo damage?
to the kids for parading for outside
people?
idk
not been a kid in decades
despite trying to find a happy childhood,
inner child and more reparenting
while from outward appearances
a spoiled brat myself,
by most definitions i have a lot,
but also nothing of my own
really?
so the duality
i rant about in others?
must be why it bohers me?
if i'm that way myself?
some psychobabble about that?
And i've got new/ novel
other stalkers?
someone that is likely realted to someone
who was killed stalking me?
her father?
and she's hanging aroudn the lobby
claimed to be wiating for someone
anda ntoher guy
also didn't need to use the office
aline and others before me,
finally get in there?
going to the office
ask for a Ledger
and see if anything came in?
nothing told
or was verbally but have to see on paper
to believe it
and it's there so problem solved
but a stalker and needs ammunition
to get rid of me
and there it is?
i can give to them because i got something?
money is money
and they want it
and somehow i get some
and they think they should have it?
not that easy,
qualifying for it
anda broken window
someone had to hget out of there
and i'ts torture/ held hostage
and somehow a training
and been there too long
and get going
keep going before they get you again
but a trap also as somehow
intrigued and have to analyze it
and it works with bored housewives
somehow not bored anymore?
and trapped by trying to help
loved ones like me?
and somehow it's my relatives?
can hear voices but not see
and some do impressions/
someone parrots my family
and been doing it for a while
a deep vake voice changer/
talking / squalking box?
kids doing
pranking
really rather sick stuff
if done on a deceased family member
like we can program you based on
your dead relative?
while claiming not dead?
and all sorts of stuff like that
Anyways i look crazy for mentioning it
and part of the abuse/ sickness of it
so leave that there
a british/ aussie term?
from an online con i did a while back
Autism/ Aspie?
From the Inside Out?
which ia haven't kept up with
but did use $14 or so
for a 10 pound (sterling?)
online register for a fourth/ fifth?
lost count AutScape
since AuTreat not an option
and maybe because of me?
i'm terrible for sayin hgit
but if they wer ehurting people
which seemed they tried to do to me
tell the leader/ head of it
not to do it
and well auties sometimes very literally
and stopped? not running it anymore
and nothing to go to
but also didn't know they had spawned
it for EU/UK
and then PanDemic and online
so can see what they were doing
without travelling
Autism Network International
and a gathering from around th world
mostly US but some travelled to be a part
and brought it back to their countries
and some flurished and created others
now UK/EU rivals,
as this one stopped,
something happened and i had left
so i don't know what,
but stalking mentioned
and i'm having it too,
from Patch Adams and problems
and something about being out
about MH and gets lot sof followers
and stalkers and well i hve them too
now...
Somehow i might understand some of it
but also don't
people have little else
i guess, problems of their owns
but can relate to mine
so somehow being around me
gives them the answers they are looking for?
idk because can't be around people i don't know
and stranger danger etc...
I'm ironically?
not that much of ap eople person
but compared to some others
i somehow am?
like blind leading the blind
half blind is king?
idk i can't be otuside myself to see how others see
me and would i listen if they tried?
and old psych / counseling thing
a box
like logic
what i know/ see
and what others do and don't
so things i know and other see
and others don't know and don't see
4 combinations of that?
probably has a name / label
but i don't recall it...
So lets call it God/DogBox?
some joke on that?
some black hole to put things in
while don't have much else
or too much depending on what it is...
so for values of It
good/ bag
and been saying for a while now
people say good morning
and i reply
which i usually just say bah humbug
or something
or ignore.
Morning is Fact,
Good is subjective,
or i'd argue Good...
people passing a food line,
like depression bread lines
and i'm supposed to be happy
about being on display?
for others to see,
even parents dropping off kids
for summer camp?
scared kids some crying
but also some want to go
to have signed up for it in the first place
and lucky to get in?
idk
but scary are thy going to like me?
am i going to get hurt?
just the line of old poor people
seems some grandparents age
would pinch cheeks
but not handing out cookies
so what good are they?
and we give to them?
they take our cookies?
why?
seems in reverse?
no?
old give young get
well that works for a while
but now millenials
and well Joe Biden is too old?
did the right thing at the time
with being Vice to Obama
now biting him in the arse/ass?
But ushering in the first black female
/asian/ something off white
president Kamila? Kamala? Harris?
and/or just a contender idk?
JD Vance seems to have been bought off
was an outspoken critic,
and came up with the Hitler comments
and other things afaict,
i try not to read and follow that,
but RedNeck Ellagy?
or somesuch
from Applachaia?
where my grandparents are from
and my parents,
who got phDs and got out
and then the Marshallis/?
shale/ natural gas and seemed
a chemical waste land
like texas oil fields?
one rather prestine
and now not,
all while busy in the city/ shitty
and RustBelt/ etc
while working Mil/ ReSearch
and lost my roots, literally
grandparents died,
aunts uncles
decades and busy,
too busy to help?
trying to survive and they didn't...
so the survivors guilt on that?
and inheriting a home
to grandmothers house we got
and some mining/ drilled thorug hthe
living room floor to see if gas
underneath?
phtoso of that on how to sell it now
to anyone but the gas fracking companies?
and my aunt that went to live back home
and she died of cancer from that?
or what?
and i couldn't talk to her
call her wants to talk to you
but i can't deal with it?
now can't make up for it?
more toxic stuff,
and deadly emo/ psych stuff
too...
and here i'm airing it publicly
after the fact?
Well i'm supposed to die in the heat
right? system demands it
have to do x,y,z
while writing about how bad it is for some of us
and others don't have it bad(ly?)
but whatevers right
i complain about someone ranting
and do it myself so what?
can't me neigther?
stop?
i guess i'm must putitng it out there
if anyone cares to read it
other s require you to not me
right?
so my legacy?
megabytes of whining?
but whatevers right
past the time that others even care anymore
and lots of toxic reasons not to...
passed by a construction crew
on Rt 50 going another way back
after paying at the old one
what i don't have anymore
a 24 hour one with lock boxes
are they still there?
didn't see?
but i could try another set of hills
or go the long way
took too long and now in the heat
past 09xx a
10a opening PP went later
instead of earlier
and heat wave again
so deadly and have to to get food,
going to be busy today
anyways
so do something other days
ahead/ prep
and expected i guess
no camp and kids seen,
not this week done for now
a break before school again
back to school and supplies
backpacks etc
and prep
shifting/ pivoting
vacay mode winding down
and some beach trip rescheduled
i QRCode it but have to pay $10
for it, and no one there to pay,
while conflicitng get $10 from
and past the due date
so the one pre cancelled/ rescheduled
still on there
and they don't want me to go?
somehow cna't
and not allowed
don't like me
and paid to be there
and or the hateful neighbors/
kids?
ruining their fun
i can't because they don't like me?
WTF?
and staff too?
so someone paid for me?
so i'm on the list?
and try my SUP?
found a rolling accordion cart int he trash area
and keeping it
and they find that i have it and want it again
so my use ok and they want back?
left in trash room with trash in it
and i take it then they want it?
so they can use it for CAFB line?
and/or play stuf/ as a bin for
toy chest?
once trash and if i take it they want it?
but broken and smelly and in the trash
for a reason besides broken?
i'll get sick like the mop and buckets?
so pandemic is 4 days and it dies
without being kept alive?
but some unknown sickness?
HIV? and i'm somehow in danger
for longer?
certainly 4 days is too long
to be in the trash
emptied every day or so
or 3 if weekend?
FriDay in and Gone MonDay?
so touching it should be gloved?
hazardous?
or not?
Dumpster diving or ReCycling
and how am i trash for being Green?
saving/ land fill/ waste and using somehow?
until fill the place with stuff like that?
there wre new chest of drawers/ dressers
offered, but i was late to ask
and gone by the time i could
decide and replay, it was an email to
ManBoyBunWorm and not talking to
so screw you again i guess,
or not witchever is worse...
And i came back,
lived on the heat
got food and didn't give any
not my role people with cars and more
money, etc, jobs, houses
can take care of it,
despite here thoughts it's tax to go by here
and blocking my only routes
go around if you don't like it
panhandling and other stuff
and when i'm gone
like a lot of threats
you never gave me anything
well i wrote about you
and maybe that helps?
or not depending on how that goes...
and others reactions to it
But people i knew when it was
happening with me, the first time
i guess i now have to add,
and they are burried/ in shrined
there as well, names left out
and i'm having problems remembering
painful or decades, part of both
i'm guessing...
Well, came home and
didn't even do the local hill
to wait in the lobby with WiFi
and see others
just drag self in
i'd been telling others out
biker(s) and joggers get in it's bad,
one responded almost there
a block or so more
checking on the homeless woman?
joggers with headphones not hearing
or out to check on me idk?
the full part of that
is i remember having a problem in the heat
and maybe i stroked out
something bad and might explain
some things
too warm and went anyways,
so now telling others don't be like this
and don't risk it
or end up like me?
can't remember shit,
well getting old too
so going to happen anyways
but using myself as a negative example
on this/ that/ the other
others have been doing it to me
and you have to read this huy as punishment?
and/or guilty pleasures by sadists
and others?
narcisists and somehow all the bad stuff
and follows me around like a stink?
So get a response
on trying to get a brick
replacement for the eBike
and it's to ban/ block/
not even listen to emails from me?
and i spend a while an hour or more
trying to give the history and
refute that?
to people who don't want to hear from me
in the first place?
so i guess the three trips in the
previous heat wave or a few back
were supposed to kill me?
and can't have things that would
interfere with that?
to use eBike i arlay had but
lost the charger which is basically the key
and kept from me
like the used eBike and can't
have that either?
kept away be sadists in support
money and biking?
and later see the $400-500
SNT DR they sent a check
but another never received
and asked for $1.9k for back rent
and that never seen either
so someone running off with them all,
kids likely and delivery problems
and then have to sask for more
so keep pumping me for money
and i guess someone's getting some
but not me?
until the $3k and it shows up
while other that's good right?
like forcing a depressive to be happy/nice
also sick/ sadistic stuff
but oh so common, around here
and me, ssee it's funny to poke the tired
almost dead bear....
here's how you do it...
But vitrol/ venting off?
can't and tired
typing going and barely touched
the surfac/e hot pavement
and sun, record heats
heat waves and advisories
and i'm giving away eggs to throw?
drank frozen with some thawed
and mixed up bike water bottle with
single use reuse opened block of ice
and thawing the apple juice
in the air, as put the gallon milk
in the isolated to get it home
onle one bag rice other was boxed
whee, never even tried,
while took bread,
and some other, turkey stuffing mix
box, other time was dried potatoes
not used yet so not replacing
but boxed quart juice i'd twice put in the
fridge and/or freezer gone
even the warm ones...
to save my live some time
but guess that doesn't matter
they hate me and can't leave in there
or replace, as all gone like the
Kraft Parmesan powdered cheese,
take one a week, no duplicates
find something you like
can't have it
find little you can have not wheat,
not meat, not what?
some other stuff food sensitive/
autie/ other stuff, foodies, bad foodie/
overeater / under etc
and have to leave thign sthere
can't take all the even rationed
quota stuff...
but also can't give it away,
fdried raisins considered a stcnk
but not on the top two shelves
where granola / nutty buddy etc bars
are chips / potato and fritos like
can't onle have one
skipping chocolates
while had found some sale at nearby
Target doing the island hopping
AC one place
and buy something not just water
and bike in and baggy
and use the bathroom,
while locked out elsewhere,
but EBT refreshed new month
so there's $23
but spent that already
Giant, not closing another one
and that took more
travelling money i call it
something while i'm out and about
and got some sking where clearance
was and reminded bakery there
so half sweet potato pie
$2-3?
and a strip danish
been a while since i've had those
and cash back $40
and take that elsewhere
as safety for end of month(ly)
likely burn through fast
been back to the Columbia Pike
SunDay and $1 gifted $10
oh you're him
someone has to be?
but couple three times this year,
only once last years staff
switching off others doing it
others are so much nicer
6 months off of it
renewing not applying again online
and so not happy to see you?
burnt bridges or have to be true
to how i feel?
idk atm,
tired and venting
and probaly not even clear on that
but will see
if/ when read over
and put up...
And not getting to other things
what i don't recall atm
maybe in edits/
maybe not...
just stop,
like ranting huy ay po ox
but can't
$118 for 6 months of mail
mostly bills?
but need an id home
especially if losing the residence...
but somehow also not
as money came in but
not the calling it off
cancelling court
so have to go
likely heat/ storm again
might be already forecast
but can't see as too low data
and down to do it before now...
nite nite,
don't eat more sugar
mixed berry turns out gummies
and choclate bars
seems all i bought was sugar
but not getting bakery sweets at
AFAC so must get some while i can
but got others at PP
so balances out
treats and some trading up
bought some beans,
chick peas/ garbanzo
on sale 0.40
and 0.80
Lucky Creole style Pinto beans
with pork/ meat
while expected to be vegan
and can't i'd starve
refusing the 5-10 pound
bag chicken drumsticks
either CAFB or PP sourced CAFB
and/or one fish, chicken, chichen hot dogs,
no cheeseburger/ turkey
not this week again,
so some from PP
instead, and is that warm and going to make
me sick/ kill me like some deli meat people
left out to do so,
warm to the touch
and another threat on my life
stomach first?
but some other memory bubbles
livening up puttin thise donw
on paper
but likely too painful to read?
like the response to blocking/ banning
and wow that's catty
and i'm a dog person
after put out
and might have been better
to have a waiting period?
but no have to repsonse
in case code out again?
last worse vitrol
i guess the response to the system
even if its' keeping me this time,
maybe get me fourth fifth time
when most basebell only
gets 3 time at bat,
extra innings on this pinata?
they hate him (me) that much...
i guess...
860 4138 21832 AnotherHeatDeathMayBeMe2024.C203X.emacs-gtk.txt
What's Missing?
endings
happy ones?
implied?
got the Money so court disappers
or does it?
What Can Be Found?
What Can Not Be Found?
How To Analyze?
Lenses
Noob
Kids
Family
CampAKASchool
Dis/Diss/Dys/Hiss
Supports
GenPopAKAPubLick
Assumptions
what doesn't kill you makes you stronger
seems more the exception to the rule?
and if you're down and reading this
get some help
been there and done that
and best to stay alive and that's it's best revenge?
What Helps depends though
the traditional system doen's do it for me,
but been there and done that
yep seeing recursive no?
it's something to ocmplian about
and no shortages of that
in the traditional system
no?
but also a survivor
expatient of sorts
so there are monsters
and many of them staff
also tried that
and not very good at it, afaict...
Time Limits
T - Court Day?
Days on and not business ones
at that,
Heat and What happens with that?
lets up or storem coming again?
so highs/ lows/ raid/ t bangers
lighttning etc
but at least not Texas/Flroida?
along the coast no?
or yet hits elsewhere too
Book Data
novapeers_2024_07_28.1.zip
ISBN
Bound
CopyRight
Pages
index
Links
AnotherHeatRElatedDeathMayBeMe2024
AnotherHeatDeathMayBeMe2024.C203X.emacs-gtk.txt
GettingProduceBoxAlmostKilledMe2020
OutSideDogs2021
SomeOfHowThePoorIsKilledByTheSystems2012
/GoFish
GoFish2010
say no more?
Conclusion
Summary of experience or similar
None ATM
just getting this up is an accomplishment
of sorts?
Discussion
A place for feedback on the page presented
Well the shit hit the fan
and what do you thing
shitty ones?
License
Creative Commons Share and Share Alike,
Non Commercial, Non Derivative,
for the whole site's contents
unless otherwise explicitly stated
Page History
20240803 Jerry
Page Statistics
Page Views: 
since creating on 20240803
Comments (0)
You don't have permission to comment on this page.