AutieCultureAndReentryIntoNormalSociety

 

Introduction/Definition/etc Body Conclusion Discussion Page History Page Statistics Page Views:  since creating on 20100708

 

Introduction/Definition/etc

 

What was the the autie culture like

and how am I adjusting?

 

20100708 11.42 am Jerry

 

 

Body

 

 

Going to Autreat, a Conference For and By Autistics,

was a culture shock of sorts.

I wasn't sure I'd be welcomed despite spending

years around and probably having a lot of the

characteristics/ symptoms of Aspie, though not

formally diagnosed...

 

The welcoming committee was a little harsh,

at least for me.  A slew of paperwork,

including a lot of personal information

to submit to people I've never met,

the emergency form, diagnosis, medicines,

allergies,who to contact

(ICE In Case of Emergency) on my cell,

and other ID and medical issues,

almost like a kid going to camp

(and I wrote myself up in the kid registration anyway,

as even at my advanced years, I'm still

childlike in so many way, especially with

puppy dogs, and around younger people,

almost a clown... planning on showing/

sharing the OLPC XO with kids, adults,

techies, etc), but I left my parents

at home, and ventured out as someone

trying to experience the Autistic world

first hand...

 

First was the privacy policy of Autreat,

can't interview people, can't photograph

people, can't write about stuff, no names,

etc.  I'm almost a journalist, sometimes

when working / volunteering with the

StreetSense paper, I'd consider myself one,

but it's not paid, I'm not on assignment,

no longer associated with the paper,

just have 20+ published short articles,

and experience writing, editing and

running a drop in writers group of

homeless people over 1.5 years or so...

 

But it ended badly, I have a bad taste in

my mouth so to speak, about StreetSense,

and noticed the last issue doesn't even

have a Will Write For Food Writers Group

page in it and heard the vendor manager

changed (yippee), as have almost all the paid staff

since I was there...

 

But this verbage is about Autreat and Autistic

cultures...  So I'm not a journalist, but "a Hack",

there's a difference.   Some have skills,

I pound on the keyboard like a mad monkey,

as personal self directed therapy,

put it out to a world that mostly doesn't read it,..

 

So First up at the Con after getting to the

location and finding no food, rural values,

an imported car in the parking lot with three of four

flat tires, later discovered slashed,

and bad memories of living in rural areas

and small colleges, plus a dead bird

at the entrance (requested a proper

burial for it, seriously, but I think they

just put it in the trash bag, at best...)

:-((

 

College staff were mostly young females,

perky and friendly and welcoming,

if not a overly and a little perplexed

by some of our actions/ eccentricities.

For example, I wanted to check

the local bike shop to see if they had some

parts,  so was it open?  Given the phone

number...  Called got an answering machine,

late Sunday, almost 5 pm ish,

and closed for a couple of days,

guessing doing weekend hours and

they take off Monday, maybe Tuesday too,

and never actually got there... 

No answer = no business from me,

at least for now...

 

Food in the area, had to go out to grocery store,

Tops is the food chain, like a Safeway or Food Lion

round Warshington, afaict.

 

Small town America, and while I'm originally

from a much smaller town than Washington, DC

it has been decades, and I think Washington is

out of touch with the people it supposedly represents...

 

Signs on a Bradford, PA lawn said the town refused

20 Stimulus jobs...  Wonder what the strings

were...  There is a general worn out quality to

some of the towns we traveled through.

Maybe it is the harsh winters by comparison?

 

This one in particular had lots of bars,

and some people hanging out side

on the streets.  Looked a little like

parts of Washington, DC, and the depression

era...

 

Food at Autreat was Vegan ONLY.

but I don't think they would have liked

the inverse, being forced to eat meat,

so wonder why they force others

to become vegan???

 

I got sick on the foods, they were not

what I was used to eating (NB: I usually

get sick when eating as others do and travelling),

and feeling like going to the cafeteria,

I was going to end up sick, more running to the

bathroom, was not pleasant,  I didn't have

money to go elsewhere as the costs of

the Con and trip were about all I had,

and had to keep some for transportation

emergencies too...

 

I talked to the food service woman

upon entry and she wanted me to

complain to the conference organizers/ director,

but I pointed out that the way it

was prepared may have had things

to do with it too. 

 

The privacy policy, then someone

an academic, getting up and saying

she was looking for people to interview,

for research late the first night, Monday?,

then early hours of the con starting at 8.30 am,

when I had to go to town, get some exercise

to deal with the social stress,

sedentary sitting in lecture,

and try finding food that would not make

me sick, was getting a little problematic

and I had started wishing I hadn't gone.

 

I wrote about it and posted to the local support

group, to little response.  I whine a lot,

and do so much more in writing than

how I actually feel at times, as it's

like therapy for me to write and get

the experiences out, that way I know how

I feel about stuff, and actually process them.

 

Back in my heavy MH treatment days,

they said those that journal get better,

and with so much going on, I really

needed to keep track of stuff.

Some of the medications I was put on

affected my memory and cognition,

in addition to trying to get my mood

elevated...

 

Anyway, Autie culture at Autreat

uses part of the deaf culture.  Instead

of loud noises like clapping, Auties

wave hands in the air.   Even greeting

people is many times a wave.

There are colored badges,

Green for approach me is OK,

Yellow only if I know you already

and by email doesn't count,

Red for leave me alone...

I was Yellow most of the time,

(yeah, I've wanted to play with the

text attributes for a while, call me

a geek...)

but I don't like being photographed

so I had a scarlet letter type big black

plate around my neck that would

have made Flava Flav and other bling

adherents jealous, if not so tacky...

 

And turns out I was the only one.

So when the microphone went around

the room for the audience to ask

questions of the presenters,

the camera panned and it felt like

I was being targeted, a weapon pointed

at me, my rights were not being respected,

as I was expected to do for others,

maybe at first they thought I didn't

matter at all.  I'm on the edge of

the spectrum, having some attributes,

but not all, and I called it "Borderline

Aspie", not to be confused with

Borderline Personality Disorder,

but it was getting a little like that too

after a while...

 

After arguing about stuff,

pointing out the differences

in long and rambling writings/ rants early

in the morning by email to confidential lists,

usually worse than the usual grouchy mood,

remembering Northern Exposure,

fish out of water type shows,

and I'd pretty much made myself

and everyone around me miserable,

and finally decided I'd probably just

fail out of the con.  I was going for

the CEUs and certificate track,

as $362 is an awful lot of money

out of pocket, for reduced income people to pay,

I added $100 to the base $262

or so because I needed my private

room, but having people add themselves

to the three bed room suite late at

night and I was up through the night

when I hadn't met the other people...

And it was on my roommate selection

forms, I detailed that I had to know the

people, and it took days / weeks before

I could sleep around people I don't know...

 

(VOCALCon @ GMU this year didn't allow/

financially support residential / dorm stays

for Washington DC people,

so I didn't go, commuting is a 2 hour

each way by public paratransit,

with Washington traffic in rush hour, and

I knew ahead it wasn't going to work for me

including announcing the NOVAPEERS MEETING,

on still Constant Contact email marketing list,

they stole the name of this PBWorks/Wiki and

having a meeting about creating chapters,

and then want feedback from consumers...)

 

And there was another Con, which was

not very expensive, probably less than

Autreat I'd also wanted to go to for year,

but conflicts abound... Maybe next

year and alternate?

 

At Autreat, a sleep deprived grouchy depressive

dyslexic/ dysgraphic with food and money issues

is not someone you would want to be around,

especially if he's whining about stuff

in emails, and generally considered

to be a PITA (Pain In The Ass)

usually that is a euphemism for advocate,

but in this case just literally too.

Sitting on chairs for hours on end,

the lectures were 1.5 hours long,

and early morning too...

 

I'd tried getting computer extension cord

power to a sofa/ love seat size thingie

in the main presentation room, and

had to figuratively and imaginatively

push an accommodations angle to get that,

trying to reserve the sofa, two of us were needing

other chair types and some people

came and took them after all

the time getting it setup,

at first the power cord was an issue

and another blocking a side exit/

entrance (the main doors are loud,

and even the fluorescent lights were turned off,

so it was basically very dark silhouette

of the presenters, I've had issues

with fluorescent for a long time,

and need incandescents, the old style bulbs,

Compact Fluorescents are the

bane of my and apparently

many others existence...

And that's before the noise the

transformers make when out of whack...

 

But I rant on lights, doors, sofa,

chairs and mostly the noise, the

hordes of people late in the presentations

were not quiet at all, some just talking

with each other as the speakers rambled

on, and didn't stick to schedule....

Some starting late, and needed a time keeper,

or create policy for starting on time and ending on time,

I was late to the first one, had to learn

biking to town for food also makes me

sick as well as further poor,

as I was paying for the meal plan too...

 

But a couple days into it, and I was

either going to leave/ thought about it

seriously early on, can't write and

then I can't think, give me my money back

and I leave, these policies were not clear,

so exit stage right...

 

But stuck it out and some of it

grew on me.  The food, I was down

to just fruits (canalope and honeydew

which had me running to the bathroom,

water content or diuretic) and some

likely transfat/ hydrogenated oil commercial tortillas,

when I ate the regular peanut butter,

it had a lots of transfats/ hydrogenated

oils, didn't see the label, but it was

not the natural stirring kind, so must have been,

and I was sleepy after eating,

and went to nap a few times,

this is about the same as other

Cons I've been to, but at least there,

they know me, and for VOCAL

and others stuff, I was part of the funding,

and which reminds me, seems like

everyone thinks Washington is

the money / till of the rest of the

country/ world.  Washington is where you

get federal dollars and everyone

there's role is to get you the money...

 

I'd actually be the opposite,

I'd likely cut some funding on towns

that do certain stuff...  Drinking and

driving and lose some funding.

Nasty to outsiders and I'd look

for mechanisms to see what is really

going on.  Maybe that is journalistic/

muck raking but people are nasty

to me (only really the snickering of the

locals about food, and the old guy

who came up to me after biking

to an early morning food place amused,

but brave and I just cut to the chase

and asked "I'm going to get killed

on the roads?" Yep, or similar...

From what? trucks? Yep,

or similar...  Any my family

was from towns like this,

so I should have expected...

 

Welcome to Bradford, PA and

any small town America.

Pickup trucks and 18 wheelers,

semis and you're road kill,

that is what bikers can expect...

 

 

So I got my stuff to go,

a coffee cup of ice water,

(in environmentally sound Styrofoam)

my bike water bottles still frozen solid, and

biked with coffee cup in hand

as protest...  If other drivers

can do it, and yack on a cell phone

while yelling at kids in the back,

why can't I?

 

I ate takeout breakfast in the

back and late to lecture,

brought my in line mobility aid inside,

like any wheel chair, tried not making

too much noise chomping, crinkly

plastic is always an issue with me,

plastic bags are noisy, and opening stuff

like jam, wondering if the eggs

and bacon were going to make

vegetarians people sick...

But at that point not much of any

other options...

 

Later the first morning lecture,

I escaped during the 15 min break

whether they were done with lecture or not,

got my little colored dot to show I had attended

for credits, and went quickly to shower

between lecture break, 15 mins,

usually takes me an hour to get ready,

but back to lecture...

 

All this while talking head/ prof/ lecturing about

inclusion, fitting in, etc, and a founder

of the con...

 

Eventually I adjusted, made myself

fit into the square pegs they expected,

didn't really fit in, ironically during an

autism conference where most didn't

and maybe still don't fit in...

 

More time in bed, later in the days

and started becoming a human being again. 

 

Met some people and hung around outside

after running to town to get serene,

a couple photos of sunset,

and some underwear and socks at Walmart,

just about the same everywhere,

Rural Virginia VOCAL Con in Harrisonburg, VA

or Autreat, same diff...), as I wasn't going

to have time to do laundry, and going

on a trip and doing laundry would usually

keep people packing less, but I had

filled a 4 person car with stuff,

bike stuff, special interest stuff to show

in an introductory Monday night,

camping stuff, tent and pad, and

sleeping bad, and stove, and STUFF...

and Dad's ashes in the front seat,

As If I was taking him back to his hometown,

as promised before he died...

 

Eventually, I was just "snarky"

and the disruptive overgrown,

older kid(s) in the back,

and while likely pissing off

administration, was at least

being honest with myself,

and started enjoying it

as others shared some of the

same feelings with me...

 

But I was sad to go,

finally finding the "immersion in autistic

culture clause" of the website

description of the Con and

that really was what it was,

immersion, like language and

cultural, and how could I have

missed that important part?

I'm Dyslexic!  That's How!

And rushed, trying to get

all the stuff done to go,

but I was an Autreat Virgin,

so what do you expect...

 

Driving in rural areas I saw a few

dead deer on the side of the road,

missed a skunk crossing the road

one place and went on to

deal with / or actually

miss dealing with my late father

and scattering his ashes,

as that would likely

require approval, and forethought,

which was sorely, on my part,

missing on this trip...

 

Driving along Amish country

along the river, somewhat flatlanders

by comparison to the mountains

further north, towards Harrisburg, PA,

I passed a horse and buggie with Plain

Amish people, I was wondering

how culture shock looks the other

way, those Cars and Bikes,

industrial society versus

manual labor and low tech,

a religious belief or Autie

culture, maybe both ends

of the same spectrum?

 

 

Finally coming back to Washington,

driving down Baltimore Washington

Parkway, about dusk, saw some

fireworks, a day early, must have

been practicing, and realized

Washington, DC area is really

home, I might be from rural areas,

but I've been here a long time,

over three decades, and

I have a short term memory...

 

My neighbors handed me a

plate of meat, and said they

were going to make a meat

eater out of me...

 

8-/

 

And the fireworks didn't sound

like gunfire, as much this year,

but I was tired, and just went to bed

early.

 

Conclusion

 

Summary of experience or similar

 

Discussion

 

A place for feedback on the page presented

 

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20100708 Jerry

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